Our Story

Our story

How we met

I met Ruth at the doctor’s leaving party at the end of my first hospital internship.   We passed on my way to the restrooms and in that moment, I was captivated.  Some persistent pursuing ensued over the next few weeks and as they say, the rest is history.

Our three decade marriage, like most enduring long term relationships has been through its own ups and downs. We have written about our most challenging time. when I developed limerence. My story can be read here and Ruth’s story, here.

These experiences led us to both become more curious about relationships and helped forge our interest in romance and better understanding the dynamics of what makes long term relationships work.

LoveRelations was born out of our combined interests and for over a decade we have been helping both individuals and couples globally in creating more meaningful, loving, and satisfying relationships.

We are also amongst the few therapists that truly understand limerence and its impact on relationships and the triangulation that occurs. 

About David

My father is an Auschwitz survivor and my mother was a frustrated and angry stay at home mum,

To try and gain my parents approval, I trained as a medical Doctor,  qualifying from the University of London in 1984. Before leaving medicine, I spent time in various disciplines including psychiatry and aviation medicine. I then set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy.

I have trained in NLP and as a hypnotherapist. I am a qualified psychotherapist and counsellor.  I have also have an advanced postgraduate diploma in Leadership Coaching.

My own experience of developing limerence in 2010 led me to set up limerence.net which includes a support forum to help those that have been impacted.

My other passion in life apart from my relationship work is helping men become the best versions of themselves. I give my time and experience to the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and responsibility.

Outside of work I enjoy creating things. We renovated a large dilapidated farmhouse and I then built an airplane in the garage. I also love to travel.  I’ve been lucky to get to 95 countries so far.

About Ruth

Caring and helping is in my family. My mother, sister and aunt were all nurses. I trained as a nurse where I developed my interest in helping those impacted by loss and bereavement. After leaving nursing,  I climbed the corporate ladder before becoming a full time mother, raising two daughters. 

During this time, I also helped David set up work on  business development and running training workshops.

I am qualified as a therapist with a diploma in therapeutic counselling. I also hold a postgraduate diploma in psychosynthesis psychology and advanced postgraduate diploma in leadership coaching.

My interest in bereavement comes from having worked at a hospice as part of their spiritual and psychology care team. I have facilitated woman’s groups for survivors of sexual and domestic abuse and violence.

With working in a rehabilitation centre for a number of years, I have extensive expereince of many types of addictions and understand this condition well

A passion of mine is a keen interest in meditation and mindfulness having spent many years participating and co-facilitating groups.

Regardless of our qualifications and life experience, its important to add that we have between us undertaken over 1,000 hours of our own personal and group psychotherapy and other deep psychological work.  Our belief is we need to look inwards and touch our souls. It is there that we find true connection to ourselves and others

Initial steps - Access our free content and support

 

The origins of the limerence.net forum

Limerence.net originally started out as a forum to help others. At that time there was only one other forum for limerence suffers called Tribes.limerence.net. Tribes was a community platform where anyone could easily create a group for any interest that too their fancy. The limerence community was created in 2008 by Meowbie and we have posted his story here.

I came across the Tribe community in 2010 and found it a life saver.  However the reliability of the service began to suffer and there were increasing outages. I started to panic wondering what would happen if that lifeline crashed and that was the motivation to start up a parallel forum. I took some heat in the early days with people claiming I was trying to draw away members. 

My intuition which normally serves me well, was correct. In around 2015 the Tribe system collapsed completely. If you want to read more about Tribe and its founders, see this article here. 

Since its inception in 2014, the forum has grown to nearly 3,000 members. we also know that for every person that registers, many more lurk.

Given challenges with the sensitive nature of limerence and the shame most people feel, we took the step to only allow registered users to see the forums.  Since the form was formed, we have not charged for access and self funded the expansion and maintenance.

In 2021 Ruth and I decided to up our game as we had left the forum to drift whilst we focussed on growing our LoveRelations business  and create a more secure part of the forum where we will take a more active role in contributing to member’s posts. 

A significant part of the forum  is still free to access whilst the more secure areas require a silver Membership plan. 

 

Over the years David has been writing numerous articles about his experience with limerence. More latterly he has expanded his writings to the expereince he has gained through working as a psychotherapist and coach with clients struggling with their own limerence. 

this has grown into a library of over 100 articles with at least 2 articles a week being added.  The articles are catalogued by date and searchable.

Alongside the articles, we are also building a repository of Youtube videos and podcasts. Our aim is to make this the best free resource available for understanding and healing from limerence.

Some of the videos and podcasts relate to other relationship issues, as afterall we are also couple’s counsellors and relationship coaches and have much to offer in these arenas too!

Overcome limerence in my guided video series

When first discovered that there is a word that describes what you are likely experiencing, it can be overwhelming in knowing where to start. There is now such a wealth of information available, however its not structured in a systematic way and it can all be confusing. 

If you want a more structured and guided way to work through  recovery from limerence, I have created a multi-module structures video training series along with worksheets and links to other relevant information.

This course is based on my thousands of hours of supporting  others with limerence, on my own clinical experience as a leadership coach, counsellor and psychotherapist and perhaps most important of all, my own  limerence. 

It’s a step by step guide to help you develop a deeper understanding of this condition whilst I hold your hand on the steps to start overcoming your limerence.

The videos are grouped under 4 separate modules. These do not need to be followed in the specific order they are presented as all the steps are important. However, if you can, watch a video a day and reflect on what I am talking about and then to undertake the exercises of they form part of that video.

For the full course contents, please click here.

And we offer a 14 day money back guarantee.  If you are not satisfied for any reason, we will refund you your full amount. 

Silver and Gold membership - more tailored support

 

For the cost of just a few coffees a month, you can now get direct access to world class limerence support which includes direct access to one of the most knowledgeable therapists on the subject.  I will hold your hand as you take your early steps through limerence recovery. I have walked a similar path and can relate to the turmoil in the early days.

Silver membership gives access to all the limerence.net forums.  I only spend my time in these forums so if you want my input you will need to join up.

As a Silver member, you will also receive membership to the limernece.net private facebook groups. The men’s group is moderated by myself and the Women’s group by Ruth. 

Gold membership gives you all the benefits of silver and you can also join the exclusive fortnightly 90 minute zoom webinars where I and/or Ruth host a topic and have time for questions and answers. Members can join anonymously and can just listen and ask questions using the chat facility of zoom.

Membership is on a monthly basis and can be cancelled at any time.

Please note it can take upto 24 hours to grant you access to the silver member forums., although it is usually much quicker and in many cases immediate.  At the moment we cannot automate the process and have to manually add you to the silver forums.  Please do not change your username, we will ask for this in the confirmation email of your subscription as it will be required to add your forum privileges. 

For those wanting the best limerence support available

If resources are not an issue, than you may be interested in joining our Platinum  membership program for individuals or our Premiere membership program for couples.

This is for those individuals and couples that really are looking for the best of the best input and support and the absolute best chance of affair recovery.

With Platinum membership  for individuals you will receive direct private one to one sessions from either myself or Ruth.  These can be in person or via Zoom.

With Premiere membership for couples  you will receive joint couple’s sessions with both myself and Ruth.  We only work as a couple with couples.  In addition, both halves of the relationship will receive individual one on one sessions from myself with one half and Ruth with the other half.  We also add fly on the wall cameras in your common living areas to truly see the communication dynamics in your relationship. There is no hiding and no lying!

We also work with clients from our dedicated therapy centre. We are based just north of London in the UK.  Click here for our contact details.

All members receive  ongoing support between sessions via email and Voxer voice communication.  And use of our coaching monitoring portal to monitor and keep track of your progress.

Plus complimentary access to the online video training series with early access to new content.

We work only 3 days a week and have a busy practice and we only work with a select number of clients.

If you are interested in understanding more on how we work and to see if this could be a good fit for you, we recommend booking an initial exploratory session with either myself or Ruth. The link is here.

We also work as a couple with couples through our LoveRelations practice.  The link here will take you to the booking page for a couple’s exploratory with both of us.