Here is a list of books that we found useful when dealing with our limerence:

Relationships, love and limerence:

Love and Limerence – Dorothy Tenov – has to be top of the list for any limerent

Love and Limerence: Harness the Limbicbrain – Dr Lynn Willmott – an updated version of Tenov’s book

Hold me Tight – Sue Johnson

Intimacy and Desire – Dr. David Schnarch

Awaken the passion in your relationship Passionate Marriage – keeping love and intimacy alive in committed relationships Dr. David Schnarch

Addiction to Love, The Art of Changing, Where Love Abides, and Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants: Introducing the Ambivalent Love Addict, all by Susan Peabody

Obsessive love – when it hurts too much too let go – Susan Forward

I love you but im not in love with you – Andrew Marshall

Getting the love you want – Harville Hendrix

The book of love – David Delvin the Art of Love -Erich Frohm

The concious heart – Kathlyn and Guy hendrix

Radical honesty and radical parenting – Brad Blanton

Mating in captivity – sex, lies and domestic bliss – Esther Perel

The Erotic mind 5 steps to romantic love – Jack Morin,

Fall in love, stay in love –  Willard Harley

Surviving an affair, Willard Harley

Love busters – Willard Harley

Effective Marriage Counselling – Willard Harley

When your sex drives don’t match  – Sandra Pertot

His needs, Her needs -Willard Harley

A general theory of love – Thomas Lewis

The Eden Project – in search of the magical others – James Hollis

Confusing love with obsession – John Moore

Falling in love – why we choose the lovers we choose

The 5 love languages Gary Chapman

Not just friends – Shirley Glass

Woman who love too much – Robin Norwood

The fantasy bond – Robert Firestone

Misc Books

Boundaries and relationships – Charles Whitfield

Narcicism – Denial of the true self – Alexander Lowen

Creating the capacity for attachment – treating addictions and the alienated self-

Games people play – Eric Behrne

Toxic parents – Susan Forward

Homecoming -the inner child – John Bradshaw

Adult children – the secrets of dysfunctional families – John Friel

 The Willpower Instinct – Kelly McGonigal

The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg


Facing co-dependence What it is, where it comes from, how it sabotages our lives – Pia Melody

Love addiction – Pia Mellody

Co-dependent no more – Melody Beatie

Choices – Melody Beatie

The intimacy factor – Pia melody

Mid-life crises

The Middle passage, from misery to meaning in midlife – James Hollis

Books for men

Crossing the Soul’s River, A rite of passage for men – William Roberts

Iron John – John Blye

Absent fathers, lost sons – Guy Corneau

The Flying boy – Healing the wounded man – John Lee

The married man’s sex life primer – Athol Kay

Books for women

Running with wolves 

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  1. I bought the Tenov book which I will be getting in the post on Monday as it seems to be the “gold standard”. 🙂 Impossible to go no contact with LO since he sits right opposite me at work. Wish me good luck… 😛

  2. My girlfriend has LO and is going through a very rough time trying to deal with it on her own. She doesn’t know who to talk to or how to live with it and I am afraid for her. Does anyone know of a way she can talk to someone who does have and them help her on how to live with it?

    1. Hi Amanda
      This site is excellent. Perhaps she needs to see a social worker or therapist. Preferably someone who knows limerence, or love addiction, or childhood trauma .
      She sounds despondent, so getting an appointment and taking her to the therapist is better than letting her do it. Distraction is good. It won’t eliminate her pain or incessant thoughts but replaces them. Get her out in nature as much as you can. Get her to exercise. Take her out more. Hopefully as time passes, her pain will subside.

  3. To this list of great books, I would add another one that merits a careful read: Why We Pick the Mates We Do by Anne Teachworth. It’s a very worthy and insightful read by a trained Gestalt Therapist.

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