david.perlLimerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book “Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.” Limerence is a state of mind characterized by intense feelings of romantic attraction and longing for a specific person. The feelings associated with limerence can be all-consuming, and people in this state may have difficulty focusing on anything else. Limerence is not considered a mental disorder by the diagnostic manual, but it can have a negative impact on one’s life and relationships if not managed properly.
Some experts have suggested that limerence may have some similarities to addiction. Like addiction, limerence can involve the release of pleasurable chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine, and can lead to compulsive behavior. People in the grip of limerence may feel an intense desire to be near their object of affection, and may have difficulty controlling their thoughts and behaviors towards that person. They may engage in behavior that is unhealthy or even dangerous, such as stalking or excessively texting or calling the person they are infatuated with. They may also experience withdrawal-like symptoms if their feelings are not reciprocated or if they are separated from the person they are infatuated with.
There are also some key differences between limerence and addiction. Limerence is a natural, normal experience that most people will go through at some point in their lives. It is not considered a disorder or a disease and is not associated with the same level of negative consequences as addiction. Limerence can be an enriching and positive experience, if it is not harmful. Limerence can also be directed at people who are in a relationship or a committed partnership, unlike addiction, which can be directed at an object, a substance or an activity.
Additionally, addiction often requires professional help for recovery, while limerence can be managed on one’s own. People can develop coping mechanisms to deal with their feelings and learn how to control their thoughts and behaviors. They can learn to redirect their thoughts and feelings towards other activities or interests, and they can also learn how to communicate with their partner or the object of their limerence in a healthy way.
However, it’s important to note that not all individuals experience limerence in a healthy way. Some people may become obsessed with the person they are infatuated with, and their feelings may cause them to act in ways that are harmful to themselves or others. In these cases, it may be helpful for the individual to seek professional help. Therapy can help individuals understand the underlying reasons for their intense feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
In conclusion, limerence can have some similarities to addiction but it is not considered an addiction. Limerence is a natural, normal experience that most people will go through at some point in their lives, and it can be an enriching and positive experience if it is not harmful. However, some people may experience limerence in a way that becomes harmful, in those cases seeking professional help may be beneficial. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with limerence is unique and it’s important to learn how to manage it in a healthy way that works for you.
