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Feelings

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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L-F
Posts: 4512
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Feelings

Post by L-F »

A recent post got me thinking about how many limerents, in general, are afraid to ask for clarification when stumped by LOs behavior, words, actions, etc. I know I was like a bull in a china shop and wanted, scrap that, demanded answers LO was not prepared to discuss. I never got any answers but in all honesty, it never was LO's problem.

However, prior to today, it never occurred to me that if someone says something confusing, I very rarely, if ever, ask for clarification, which is on me.

It would be interesting to do a poll on how many are afraid to seek clarification regarding mixed signals and whether it's a limerent thing (something that impacts limerents more) or a thing most people do?

My guess is its a thing most people avoindant-prone do to avoid conflict or the possibility of feeling hurt. A protection of sorts. Some people like myself, don't want to hear what they don't want to hear instead of facing it head on. Which leaves me wondering how much I've missed out on in life (in general), by hiding behind the fear of the unknown, or the fear of getting hurt.

Just some L-F musings for the day...
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
katewatson2024
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2024 10:20 pm
United States of America

Re: Feelings

Post by katewatson2024 »

I am 50/50. In my current LO situation, I faced it head on because I wanted to know rather than not. I wanted to know if I'm misinterpreting my friend's words and action or they were feeling something. It turns out they were not feeling the same as I. Now, you can say because you're limerent you're reading into things but in my case there were clear indicators of affection which I have never experienced in other friendships - very close ones with dear friends. So, this was a special, a very unusual case, and even if I was not limerent, I would probably ask the question if my friend was into me. Now, we cleared the air and can move on.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5691
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Feelings

Post by JupiterTaco »

I used to be in the camp that wanted clarification. Now if anybody's giving any mixed signals it's an automatic no for me. Also if I've made my lack of interest clear and somebody keeps pushing that's another red flag no for me.
"Tell me...how many times did you have sex with him?" Griselda, Cocaine Godmother
"Six, why?" Affair partner
"Because that's how many times I'm going to shoot you," Griselda
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