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Reconnected with old LO, good and bad

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Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Reconnected with old LO, good and bad

Post by Zsababy »

So last night at a friend's birthday gathering, a friend of his who I had an intense limerance for about 13-15 years ago showed up. When he did I wanted to bolt, mostly because back in 2011, as I've described here, I wrote him a very embarrassing email. I think some of it was ok-- I basically told him that he was great & that I missed my chance in college and that I couldn't have given him a family the way his wife did and that he made a great father. So far, not too terrible. Probably out of the blue intensity, but not shameful. But then...I included an erotic poem very badly translated into French. Cringe in so, so many ways. Then later, I saw I sent it on 11/11/11 at 11am, by pure chance. So of course, that makes me look like a lunatic!

So when I saw him I said hi, of course, as we're all greeting each other then tried to avoid him. When we relocated, I was seated by his adult daughter by chance. She was very sweet and intelligent, and she was sitting next to him. He came up in the conversation & became included as I was recommending bars to go to (she just turned 21). So it was a natural transition.

Because he didn't seem embarrassed by my presence, I figure he didn't remember, or didn't know who sent it, didn't get it or wrote it off and held no ill sentiments.

Interestingly, I had relaxed by then (4 beers later) and me and Andrew (the former LO) had a great conversation about our college poetry classes & other mutual creative interests. It's exactly my type of favorite conversation. Him & mutual friends may one day get together to do art & writing projects. I crave this collaboration with friends & we used to do it all the time (minus Andrew)

So it was really great & kind of healing to know that he didn't think of me as this sad psycho weirdo stalker-ish person, but just as another person with common interests to have nice chats with.

I didn't feel the same intensity or lust at all.

Until I went home...I didn't get all mental about it but 4 beers is a lot to me & he cropped up in my sexual fantasies as did my current LO. But I was kinda drunk.

So I guess I will have to see if my old obsession gets reignited. It's been 12 years, so I'm hoping that's enough time & now my obsessive energies have moved onto someone else. I sure hope not because I'd really like to be friends.

Since I talked to his daughter & then he referred to his wife, I feel like the family situation, and therefore the boundary, is firmly in place at the moment. I feel like a grown up & not an irresponsible 20 yr old with no impulse control.

I really hope we can be friends, but I think it best that it be limited to gatherings, and maybe not one on one or having much individual personal contact.

I've never been in this kind of situation before.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Reconnected with old LO, good and bad

Post by L-F »

Sounds like interesting times. It also sounds like you've got a situation to test out your inner growth - super exciting @};-
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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