TMI?

[Zsababy]

Rhetorical question: why is fantasy-sex with an unavailable LO the most profoundly blissful sex ever? ( Although I've had some pretty blissful sex in real life and there is no substitute)

It seems like sleeping with Mr X would be the most Sublime thing ever...except that Mr X changes about every 3-4 years or so.

[L-F]

You mean, why is fantasy better than reality? Because fantasy doesn't:
argue back
have poor hygiene
pass wind
... the list is endless

[JupiterTaco]

It's not real. It goes exactly the way you want and feels exactly the way you want it to, it's an escape, the grass is greener, etc.

[Zsababy]

I understand the flaws part, but I was meaning the act itself. I guess it goes back to losing my virginity to my first real LO (I was obsessed; I was 16 and he was a 27 year old teaching assistant). He began the flirting but I was basically staring at him lol. I slept with him after he got fired..I'm aware of the inappropriate nature of it all but that forbidden fruit thing was part of the thrill...So he was my ideal and I thought it would be amazing. Part of it had to do with having no idea what to do, but I just remember thinking "what am I doing here?" When I walked into his living room. I still was limerant for him for years, though.

The funny thing is that I got limerant for a guy I wasn't even attracted to after we had the most amazing sex I've ever had, so I guess limerance can work in reverse too.

I always think of limerance as obsessing on people without ever getting them but I see many examples of people getting limerant for people they've slept or sexted with.

[L-F]

I always think of limerance as obsessing on people without ever getting them but I see many examples of people getting limerant for people they've slept or sexted with.

Yes, many experiences on here, including but not limited to, being shown a little kindness without physical intimacy, or interacting via the net.
Regarding student/teacher relationships, I read a book by Alisson Wood called 'Being Lolita: A Memoir'. Here is a link (to a snapshot) if interested. Basically she thought the relationship was innocent and amazing until she understood what it meant to be manipulated. She too had wanted the relationship.
https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifest ... -viewpoint

[Zsababy]

That's actually on my reading list. I think I have to he ebook. I do have a novel called _My Dark Vanessa" which is on the same track. Great reminder. Maybe it would give me some new insights.

[L-F]

That's actually on my reading list. I think I have to he ebook. I do have a novel called _My Dark Vanessa" which is on the same track. Great reminder. Maybe it would give me some new insights.

I think you'll enjoy it (weird to say that I know!), well I hope you enjoy it even though not the nicest of topics. What I enjoyed was the writer taking me on a journey and having me walk in her shoes to see things from her perspective, the self-blame, the innocence, the intensity of the romance and then awareness. I think you'll find plenty of insights, well I did and I haven't been in her situation, but I guess a lot of that was the authors talent. It didn't leave me full of hatred because, well, I'll leave the ending open and say no more.

[Zsababy]

I did read the article. My situation seemed quite different. He never got explicit and weirdly he seemed to want me more as a confidante and possibly back burner Plan B girl (a pattern I've battled). I'm not saying it was less harmful, but it was kind of an odd relationship. He did initiate the first kiss but he wasn't getting too weird on me like asking for my bra size or whatever. That teacher's predation was very obvious. Mine much less so. If anything I often felt romantically rejected by him, not good enough, like I was the one he came crying to when other women rejected him. I did most of the pursuing but he definitely encouraged it, as he made the first move. I more feel like he took advantage of my puppy love and that he was a highly dysfunctional person who was very melodramatic and liked to turn all of his stupid problems into song lyrics. Ugh
I do think the experience set the stage for my romantic conflicts: always being Plan B or just taking advantage of my desires knowing that they will go on and pursue somebody else; that I'm just a sexual Way station. Oh, and the crying on my shoulder while not offering mutual support is an added bonus. But I learned how to detect that bullshit much quicker.

Luckily I got past that a while back & am in a good but a little boring relationship. My limerance has affected it though

[Zsababy]

I should say taking advantage of my feelings. It's guys looking for friends with benefits without coming out and telling you that they're really out there looking the The One. My friend, a gay man, used to say that he felt likeike most guys are always on the hunt for a bigger and better deal, like who can get the hottest commodity.
We felt like people like us were just rest stops on their journeys to a better destination.

[townshend]

Rhetorical question: why is fantasy-sex with an unavailable LO the most profoundly blissful sex ever? ( Although I've had some pretty blissful sex in real life and there is no substitute)

It seems like sleeping with Mr X would be the most Sublime thing ever...except that Mr X changes about every 3-4 years or so.

I’ve always felt like this scene of the office when it comes to my attraction to LO. He’s handsome, especially for his age but I was (am) wildly attracted to him and completely associated sex with him for years so he’s like the absolute pinnacle of a man for me.