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New here

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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anonymous888
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2022 12:10 am
United States of America

New here

Post by anonymous888 »

Hello, I have been dealing with depression and anxiety related to unreciprocated feelings for a close friend/coworker. I’ve been in therapy for the past year. A friend introduced limerence to me today and I finally feel that I have a name for what I’ve been going through. There is a lot of material to go through here. I was hoping someone could point me towards a good place to start.

I’m a happily married man with two kids. I developed a crush on a coworker a few years ago. We became close friends very quickly. It never caused any stress or anxiety until about a year ago when feelings of jealousy (involving a mutual male friend) started to intensify the need for reciprocation. I’ve had two heated conversations with this friend over the past year about the issues caused by my apparent need for reciprocation.

I’ve gone about a month of no (significant) contact. It’s extremely difficult, more so because we have a close group of mutual friends that makes up most of my social life outside of my wife and family. Feelings of rejection, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and low self-worth flood my brain. Depression has been significant.

It is reassuring to see that I’m not alone. I look forward to learning more about this.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: New here

Post by Zsababy »

You might want to go to the Home Page or Forum page where David has a free download on healing limerance. He also has an intro video on the Limerance 101 Forum. He also has a video series for $50 but I think there are a few videos for free here and there.

Also, just posting questions will often get an answer from David or an experienced member.

Welcome!
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: New here

Post by Zsababy »

BTW, depression is common when our LO rejects us and/or we go no contact. Much has been written about the addiction-like quality of limerance. It definitely involves a chemical high (dopamine) that accompanies our anticipation of a relationship with this person.

It can also involve bigger issues like relationship patterns rooted in parental bonds, so the pain can go deep.

So you are in the down swing, most likely. This is a great place to hash out your emotions and talk to people who can relate. I know it can be an embarrassing problem (my Limerant Object ie person I'm obsessed with-- is a famous musician-- how embarrassing is that?!!) But you will be chatting with people in the same boat.

No need to feel shame here-- this is the right place to talk about stuff that you feel too embarrassed to talk about with other people.

It can get better. You've started the journey.
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