Having extreme breakdown

[Teana]

had extreme breakdown, for months i was not in pain like this... i feel like walking back and forth and have thoughts i should just kill myself ( will not do it, because of my family and its against my beliefs) i dont know what to do , everything feels like pain, i should fall asleep

This is the end road.

My LO didnt want to break up with me claiming he will change 2 weeks ago. Since then he messages me daily but did not innitiate any meeting. Not even on weekend. He is aware i want him to invite me out, i told him so . Second weekend is comming.

That asshole writes me, he is supposed to invite me out. I ask him what are his plans on weekend: no plans.. doesnt even ask what are mine. Let alone he d invite me out like a man. Why the f is he even writing me??? To make fun of me?? He must be kidding with me.

I NEED TO REALIZE OBVIOUS THINGS IM STILL FAILING TO REALIZE

HE DOES NOT WANT ME
He does not feel good with me, if he did he d invite me
He does not want to be with me
He does not want to have a relationship with me anymore

I feel so stupid, why is he writing me all 2 weeks first then and send kisses does not invite me.. he acknowledges he has no plans.. but he rather be bored home high on weed that meet me. I must be really borning person, or something is wrong with me for real... this is extremly painful, i dont have strenght to live.. he treats me like im worth nothing to him

I dont know what to do.. i cant be waiting another week... this is already obvious sign he does not want me... 14 days and he s ok not to see me... what an asshole, the shit he told me before and how he acts now. He must be enjoying playing with me , because otherwise I cannot explain it.

It hurts so much to start realizing that he is not reciproprating. Most painfull thing i ever went through honestly. I dont know how i ll live without hope to be with him. Probably just surviving in pain.

[Cookie]

Teana,

Sorry today is so hard for you. There will be days like that.

You must go through the withdrawals before you can feel better...that's just part of this.

Please try to get busy with other things and tend to your family. Go outside if you can.

It does get better, I promise! But you have to cut the ties first.

[WishMagick]

Rejection is NOT about you. It is ALWAYS about the person who is doing the rejecting.

He is NOT rejecting you because of something you did or because of how you are. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

[Teana]

Teana,

Sorry today is so hard for you. There will be days like that.

You must go through the withdrawals before you can feel better...that's just part of this.

Please try to get busy with other things and tend to your family. Go outside if you can.

It does get better, I promise! But you have to cut the ties first.

Thank you .
I went through breakdowns before, its worse now because i see it is the end.
There are no more chances.
And his confusing signs dont make it better. I absolutelly dont understand his behaviour.

[Teana]

Rejection is NOT about you. It is ALWAYS about the person who is doing the rejecting.

He is NOT rejecting you because of something you did or because of how you are. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

I just wish he strongly rejected me. Because with confusing behaviour like he has its really hard to break ties.
If he told me he is not interested in me.. then i d respect it. But he says he is and other shit sweet in person and even messages me to prove it every day for 2 weeks and then this.

I know i will have to reject him logically for myself and not wait for his rejection. But that is so hard like impossible.

[WishMagick]

@Teana,

I know what you mean. I don't consider it a rejection if it is not hard, and somewhat cruel.

My LO has attempted to reject me, but, my limerent mind will not see it as a rejection because he still wants to be "friendly" with me, and he won't unfriend me and I KNOW that he's attracted to me.

All that doesn't feel like a rejection. If he said to me, "F*ck off!" - THAT is a rejection and it would all end for me.

I can't understand why he doesn't just say that. Is it because he's a nice guy? Or because he doesn't actually want me to f*ck off? And WHY doesn't he want me to f*ck off?? If he doesn't want me, why not just come out and say he doesn't want ME, specifically??

Makes no sense to me. LOs are infuriating!
Yours is absolutely awful. I'm sorry to say. He's not thinking of your feelings at all.

Reminds me of my first LO. So very, very toxic.

[Cookie]

In my experience? Many LOs give "partial" rejections so they can have you around if/when they need your attention.

My last LO would ignore me, then send a message out of nowhere with a bunch of hearts. When I cut him off, he resorted to sending things by mail--and a few of those were my favorite things, which he knew. But if I resumed contact with him? Ignored again.

It goes on like this forevvverrrrr with them. This was like my 7th LO (so embarrassing), and they ALL are like this. Crazy, I just remembered the LO before this one, the one who drove me to this forum: we had not been in contact for TWO YEARS, and one night recently I was hanging out with my husband and my phone rang from some strange international number. I'll be damned if it wasn't the old LO calling from overseas. They have no sense of space and time. I knew a woman whose LO came knocking after 15 YEARS.

Just...something to think about. Lock those doors and throw away the key.

[Teana]

It goes on like this forevvverrrrr with them. This was like my 7th LO

I fear that even if I somehow magicly get over this LO, i ll be prone to find another one.
Is there something to prevent this what works?

[Teana]

I can't understand why he doesn't just say that. Is it because he's a nice guy? Or because he doesn't actually want me to f*ck off? And WHY doesn't he want me to f*ck off?? If he doesn't want me, why not just come out and say he doesn't want ME, specifically??

Makes no sense to me. LOs are infuriating!
Yours is absolutely awful. I'm sorry to say. He's not thinking of your feelings at all.

Exactly how also my thought process goes with these questions. And then I get stuck in these questions. Hope is a horrible thing in limerence.

Thank you for saying my Lo is awful, It feels good to hear it for some reason. Maybe because hearing it from somebody else makes me believe it more that he indeed is really toxic. To hesr and realize that he really treats me bad.

[Cookie]

It goes on like this forevvverrrrr with them. This was like my 7th LO

I fear that even if I somehow magicly get over this LO, i ll be prone to find another one.
Is there something to prevent this what works?

What was missing in your life? Did I recall you saying that your father was not around when you were a child? I can’t remember your beginning story exactly, but I am looking at your earlier posts now.

Anyway, sometimes this pain is buried so deep we don’t even know where it comes from. For me, I was given up for adoption as a baby, then my adoptive mother was narcissistic and alcoholic. In other words, I had no real mother around.

Maybe you can find a counselor to help you sort through the past? This isn’t always a “smoking gun,” but it can help you get to the root of things, which can help you stop the limerence.