A strategy gone awry?

[Idiotic]

I think those of us that choose to answer the call are attempting to heal generations of pain. We probably can't do all of it in one lifetime.

Sending support and encouragement to stay on the awakened path.

So true

[Thought Loop]

Thanks Acrobatica, and you are absolutely right. I'm being a bit tongue in cheek with the past life stuff.

I don't see anything else to do but No Contact, not because it's the 'right' or morally justifiable thing to do, but because it's the only thing I can handle.

Here's to staying on the path. I am trying!

I wish you support and strength as well.

[Thought Loop]

It doesn't matter if she is busy and I am obsessed, or if she consciously withholds.

She keeps teaching me.

[Cookie]

I'd refrained from sharing more of a project I was working on with LO because it mattered to me and I wasn't sure it would be a good idea.

She's saying we are good friends and thanked me for helping her on her project. So I thought, hey, maybe we can have a real exchange here. Give and take. Progress!

So I shared with her.

Well, she has not responded for over a month. I know she doesn't owe me anything, but given what she'd said, I thought, or hoped, she might give feedback in return. I fell into the trap of expectation. It amazes me how much this hurts.

Now I have let go of any hope.

Yet I also feel like the other shoe is going to drop. That one day, she'll finally send a reply just when I think I am free of it.

It doesn't matter if she is busy and I am obsessed, or if she consciously withholds. The bottom line is that this makes me feel insignificant. That's on me, but it's triggered by the nature of this connection.

Because it seems like an awfully one sided friendship.

A valuable lesson.

Wow, is this it in a nutshell!!

Thought Loop, all they want to know is that we are available to them IF and WHEN it is convenient for them to "be our friends."

Part of this of course is the DEAD SILENCE of days, weeks, and months while they are busy with other things...and people.

It most certainly makes you feel insignificant, as being ignored tends to do that. I've told this story on here several times, but after LO and I spent a wonderful night together, he dissed me for two solid weeks without even a word. Then I finally decided to text him and he acted like I was some stranger off the street. Now he KNOWS that I called him on his bullshit and will refuse his future attempts at friendship, and I know that bothers him. Tough luck.

Let her go. Ignore her next message. There's nothing left but more pain and uncertainty.

I'm sorry though. It hurts!

[Thought Loop]

Thanks Cookie.

I have a lot of cognitive dissonance around this.

Aaaand she's responded. Her timing is impeccable: right after I gave up all hope she would. Ha!

Eventually, this will peter out and vanish, and both of us will be good with it.

Win-win...!

[Cookie]

Eventually, this will peter out and vanish, and both of us will be good with it.

I'll also hide her social media, but not actually disconnect, so no alarms.

Win-win...!

Hard to believe, but it will fizzle—including all those gut-wrenching emotions. I did disconnect all social media, but you seem disciplined enough not to. My LO has tried to “reach out,” but no contact helps reveal that those efforts have nothing to do with me and a genuine friendship. It’s like a test, and we are the lab rats. Sorry that’s not a very glamorous analogy. You’re doing great, btw!

[Thought Loop]

Thanks Cookie! I do not feel like I am doing great at all. The connection has such deep hurt it's exhausting.

Trying to be disciplined and not reactive, to see the end goal (professional civility and good will).

[Thought Loop]

And... I think I'm done.

She did not answer the questions I'd asked (not big questions, could have been done with a sentence or a number), address anything in my email (at all), or give feedback on the material I shared.

Far as I know, she didn't even read the email.