Back in the loop

[Zsababy]

I think part of it, L-F isn't just simplistic thinking, but sometimes in support groups, it's easy to take the poster's side unobjectively. Like they say what a horrible person someone is and that they are the victim, I think it's a reflex to take their word and not try to do any reality checking or critical thinking. One mental health group I was in had so much enabling in it I just left. In this group, there are a lot of people who own their behavior, but the ones who blame their LO for everything don't last too long. I mean, there are definitely attachment problems with toxic people, but some of these people love to talk about "breadcrumbing" (a narcissist leading you on with intermittent attention) not realizing that maybe their behavior is making their LOs back away.
It's an open forum on Facebook that anyone can join (some of it really doesn't sound like limerance, just typical dating angst) and it's not set up by a therapist like this one is. The tone is kind of free-for-all.

[Zsababy]

BTW, I've done that here. Like the guy who said this bartender was an attention-seeking flirt, I just took his word for it. I didn't think about the fact that his perception could be inaccurate and/or self-serving. I've since gotten better at spotting when someone is playing innocent victim and demonizing another person, especially if they're not getting what they want.

[Zsababy]

D'oh! When I said "in this group" the first time, I meant the FB group, not us

[Zsababy]

D'oh, again. I meant "part of it, L-F, is that..." Etc. Not meaning that you L-F are thinking simplistically but rather that I was responding to you.

Ack, I must learn to edit. Posting at 4am doesn't help.