What if limerence is baked in to us?

[David]

I was listening to this fascinating podcast from Modern Wisdom on paraphilias.

The speaker said most of these things are hard wired into is and are hard to change.

What if limerence were the same?

Dr James Cantor is a clinical psychologist and sexologist specialising in hypersexuality and paraphilias.

There are a broad range of things that turn humans on. Some are common, some are uncommon and some are very illegal. James' study of paraphilias exposes him to some of the world's most interesting and unusual sexual desires with the goal of working out why they exist.

Expect to learn how asexuality could evolve at all, why some able-bodied people feel that they should be amputees, why adults like to be dressed up as babies, the link between left-handedness and child abuse, what James thinks about depression in the trans community, why it's become increasingly impossible to have conversations about dangerous sexual desires and much more...

[L-F]

The 'baked in' concept goes along the same train of thought as the question I asked Zsababy in the Dear... thread.

Could limerence be a part of our makeup as opposed to being trauma based?

[L-F]

A genetic mutation of sorts... ?

[David]

I often say to clients when working with them, that curing limerence is unlikely . Our work is to try and come to a place of acceptance of this condition, letting go of the shame we often feel and learning to manage it the best we can.

I do wonder though, how transgenerational trauma affects our DNA which could explain the hardwiring.

[Zsababy]

I tend to think most everything is nature + nurture. My mom tended to carry torches-- one was for a priest!!

I've pretty much accepted that at 57, it's unlikely that I will have a miracle cure. In some ways, it's best to have celebrity limerances for me as I'm less likely to ruin my life. I told my BF about it (minus details) and he said, "as long as you don't run off with him", which seals the deal on his acceptance, but I never told him about the "real life" ones. With this, it's more or less relatively harmless, but chronic, fantasizing where I just have to watch my manic delusions.

[Zsababy]

I do wonder though, how transgenerational trauma affects our DNA which could explain the hardwiring.

I totally believe in this possibility. If I recall, this is tied to epigenetics, but I could be wrong on that.

[David]

I do wonder though, how transgenerational trauma affects our DNA which could explain the hardwiring.

I totally believe in this possibility. If I recall, this is tied to epigenetics, but I could be wrong on that.
[/quote]

Thats what i understand too.

[L-F]

I do wonder though, how transgenerational trauma affects our DNA which could explain the hardwiring.

Yes, I've wondered that too, but again, minus the trauma? I mean, birth is traumatic right? Not that we can remember but pretty sure the newborn experiences it nonetheless. I digress.

Or, could it have started between the late 1760s and early 1780s within the Sturm und Drang movement where extremes of emotion were given free expression in reaction to the perceived constraints of rationalism?

[Zsababy]

I've often said I'm in the wrong century & I call it my 19th Century disease. Although was the Romantic era the 18th or 19th Century? Lord Byron & all that

[JupiterTaco]

Thanks for sharing. I know it probably is hardwired into me just the same as any other addiction as I come from a heavily-addicted family who all struggled with alcoholism, drugs, and limerence just to name a few of the addictions my family members have struggled with.