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Hello All + My Story

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
Rezz
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2022 3:31 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Hello All + My Story

Post by Rezz »

Zsababy wrote: Sun Nov 06, 2022 8:26 am I'm guessing that in these long conversations, she talked about herself a lot or dominated the conversation. A lot of narcissists or just self-centered people crave an audience. That is an extremely long conversation though! It's easy to see why you assumed she was interested and that there was potential there ( I'm wondering where her BF was all this time. They must not live together...)
She lives with her mom and her boyfriend lives in another city. They for the most part they only saw each other once a week during the weekends. How often they talk on the phone however is beyond me.

Zsababy wrote: Sun Nov 06, 2022 8:26 am In any case, don't blame yourself. She gave you every reason to become attached. For her to turn around and insult you is fucked up, unless there is a context there that I am missing, like you fought or got demanding or domineering or something. But it's still uncalled for.
No I never did anything like that. Quite the opposite, I went out of my way to do nice things for her; including coming in early and helping her on work projects. Sometimes I would buy her food/snacks when I would come in. It was a huge mistake I made in hindsight because she used to get really excited when Blue would come in and buy her fruit but would barely acknowledge whenever I brought her something. But to my defense, we used to buy each other food. If it was something negative I did I would gladly admit to it because at least then I'd be able to have a reason why she turned on me.

Zsababy wrote: Sun Nov 06, 2022 8:26 am I suggest making some hobbies & taking classes or joining Meet Ups from meetups.com (if it's still around).
If you're alone a lot, that's really tough. Perhaps there are clubs you can join, even on Facebook. I've made real life friends from Facebook and Twitter; I also have online friends in other countries. I met some of them in a group for a band I like (the guitarist is my LO! How silly is that?)
There is every kind of subject or group imaginable. I'm in art & music groups & a couple of spiritual groups & a bipolar support group & a few comic and cultural ones. It enriches my life on a certain level even if it's not IRL. But DON'T look at her page!!! You will just be torturing yourself.

Also, I highly encourage a creative pursuit if you don't have one. Easy ones to pursue are photography, writing and collage. You can totally teach yourself those; YouTube videos are great for pretty much any hobby you can find.
I just checked and meetups.com is not around anymore.

I'm big into music. I graduated with a degree in music theory with the hopes of becoming a composer a few years ago, but once I was done with school I got hit with major depression and haven't done anything with it. I'd like to get back into it, start taking piano lessons and work on compositions with a private teacher. I'm also interested in writing and video editing. I even have ideas for some stuff I'd like to get on paper but I'd like some guidance before I start doing that. Money is a factor for me so my options are limited. I'd love to go back to school.

And as far as meeting people, I did get back into FB a few months ago and got in contact with an old HS friend of mine. He's married so we don't see each other too often but sometimes once a week or every other week we'll go to a bar (he's big into karaoke, I more or less go along for the ride but it is fun to do). We both befriended a woman there and her and I have hung out twice so far. Nothing serious and we don't talk often but it is nice whenever we do hang out. I'm too broken right now to even entertain any romantic ideas although I would like it if her and I could become better friends.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Hello All + My Story

Post by Zsababy »

That's great! You're taking steps and you have more going for yourself than you give yourself credit for.

Major depression is tough; are you seeing a psychiatrist or taking meds for that? Exercise, especially in nature, can be very helpful. Not a cure, but helpful.

I'm bipolar so I understand that depression can almost literally weigh you down and immobilize you. Anything you can do to try & break that spell is important. It sounds like you're moving in the right direction. Don't give up on your music goals!! I would give anything to be able to write a song. I tried piano and wasn't so great, lol. So you have an accomplishment right there to be proud of.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Hello All + My Story

Post by L-F »

Welcome to the forum Rezz!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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