Merry Christmas

[David]

Merry Christmas to all our members here.

I hope that 2022 brings more peace and respite from your limerence and‘s and any other issues that you may be struggling with in life.

In my own world, my mother-in-law is about to pass away. She was diagnosed with disseminated breast cancer two years ago and given six weeks to live so she’s done well.

In two weeks time will be the 12th anniversary of when my father-in-law died. He was more of a father to me than my own father in the amount of time and support he gave me. His death was a major trigger for my limerence and as my mother-in-law whilst a difficult woman at times certainly gave me more love and attention than my own mother In the 35 years that I knew her.

[moreissuesthanvogue]

Merry Christmas to you too David.

My friend's adopted mother always used to say that parenting has little to do with biology. I'm glad you were able to experience those bonds.

Wishing you peace and your mother in law a peaceful transition.

Thank you for everything you do for us.

[L-F]

And a happy New Year!

May y'all be blessed with financial, emotion, physical and spiritual wellness in 2022 x

Ps, it must be a specially hard time for you David. Losing a loved one is never easy. May your mother-in-law find peace and be bathed in love in her final days. May you find peace within your heart too.

My mother-in-law doesn't have long either. She's in the final stages of alzheimers. And having not long lost my father, celebrating Christmas and NE brings new challenges and reflections. May we all find peace in our hearts.

[David]

thxs LF and appreciate your kind words.

MiL died on Tuesday. I drove over with SO today to her mum's house top help clear up and she mentioned i hadn't been over since covid and didn't see her mum for 8 months. A part of me felt bad for not going to see her to say my goodbyes. SO was OK with that.

Last night I had one of those vivid dreams in which LO made an appearance. It felt so real in a way that perhaps only others with limerence can appreciate. Its odd how long limerence can hang around for especially when my own abandonment/death anxieties are triggered.

[L-F]

Sorry to read of her passing. I have moments where I just want my father back, but interestingly I couldn't help make a connection to the following when it comes to being comforted.

Last night I had one of those vivid dreams in which LO made an appearance. It felt so real in a way that perhaps only others with limerence can appreciate. Its odd how long limerence can hang around for especially when my own abandonment/death anxieties are triggered.

I've had two lucid dreams where my father came to comfort me and provide clarity on a couple of troubling thoughts. Bear with me... this will sound woo-wooish, part of me believes that prior to being born we've already created soul contracts with specific people.
Part of me believes that we're hear to learn a lesson that's specific to us.
Part of me believes that if we didn't learn the lesson, we repeat the lesson in the next life, or even the next relationship in this life, etc.

Given the answers delivered by my father, I get it (the lesson). Well most of it. And it's here that I believe these dreams are not just dreams. They are visits.

I'd be interested to know if you can remember how you felt in that dream and if anything was shared between you? Of course I'm not saying she's meant for you and vice versa, what I'm saying is that somehow, there's a soul contract/lesson/connection in all of this.

Not wishful thinking because my dreams involving LO were never lustrous or racy. If anything, and like my father, it was more about understanding that there's more to life.

Just my thoughts on dreams. I hope your LO provided comfort!

[David]

I'd be interested to know if you can remember how you felt in that dream and if anything was shared between you? Of course I'm not saying she's meant for you and vice versa, what I'm saying is that somehow, there's a soul contract/lesson/connection in all of this.

A feeling of safety and comfort. Just being seen and accepted for being me, something i didn't get much of as a child. Ive often discussed with SO about what it must be like to have a mother that was good enough and to know what it feels like to be all those things i felt in the dream. Something at a conscious level i cant get.

[L-F]

A feeling of safety and comfort.

Call me a woo-woo nutter but this is exactly why I think there's a soul contract. To provide a sense of safety and comfort. Again, not for any other reason, and definitely not long term.

And I'm not meaning that they ought to be in our lives. Maybe Freud wasn't as crazy as we think? We get to see our soul contract in the flesh and it takes on a Freudian-type sexual/parental concept until we learn the truth (that they are a temporary stand-in to give us a sense of safety in order to know [in a felt-sense] what wasn't learned as a child?). Then it's up to is to find our way back?