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Being of two minds is excruciating

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DreamingBlue
Posts: 224
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 11:33 pm
United States of America

Being of two minds is excruciating

Post by DreamingBlue »

MIND #1 - I miss LO! This NC is cruel, as I never had any intention of leaving my wife for her, or really having a go at her. I just greatly enjoyed talking to her. Can't I tell her I was on her old street today? Can't I tell her I had a Guinness, just as we shared in a pub that time? You only live once, she was a good friend, why am I cutting her off just because I got all crushy with her! Can't I send her a quick hello email? I mean, I've unfollowed her on Instagram and ufriended her on Facebook. Come on!

MIND #2 - Yes, I know it's tough, but we have made the decision we want the pain to stop MORE than we want access to/reciprocation from LO. Actually you probably need to go further, and remove her from your follower list and/or block her. You can STILL see her public account, which she fortunately hardly ever updates, and you CONSTANTLY check on every post you put up to see if she likes something. When she does, it gives you dopamine, so, really you've only curbed, but haven't quit your habit. Emailing? No way. That'll pull you back in, feel great for a bit, especially when she writes back a friendly response, but will be like a penalty flag in football - it'll set you back a bunch, and make continuing harder. Why give up the bit of progress you made? Recognize the feelings of missing her, longing for her, stay present and active, as you did today with friends, and STAY CLEAN bro!

DB
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