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Search found 56 matches

by Pandora
Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:42 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: This forum is NOT a Safe Place.
Replies: 65
Views: 4563
Canada

Re: This forum is NOT a Safe Place.

I'm really freaking happy you brought the past up Acro... shows people its not all in my head. That you've got unresolved issues with me that you haven't addressed. No wonder you try to shame me at every opportunity you have. No wonder the gangsta gang. I remind you of your mother! Well I'm sorry m...
by Pandora
Mon Jul 27, 2020 5:41 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: This forum is NOT a Safe Place.
Replies: 65
Views: 4563
Canada

Re: This forum is NOT a Safe Place.

After having done an enormous amount of reading and research in psychology in the past four years -- my real job is college professor -- as far as I can tell, much of the advice given on this forum, the advice to look within and that it is all our own fault for getting triggered in the first place,...
by Pandora
Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:38 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Long time forum problems
Replies: 33
Views: 3053
Canada

Re: Long time forum problems

However, a problem with that rule is that it operates reactively, not proactively, and it might be too late. People in here are likely to be over sensitive, in the middle of an emotional turmoil, and if they told a hard truth, even if it is the truth, they are likely to react negatively, in which c...
by Pandora
Sat Jul 25, 2020 2:34 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Long time forum problems
Replies: 33
Views: 3053
Canada

Re: Long time forum problems

The so called school of tough-love just does not apply here in the forum. The simple reason is that strategy only makes sense when it is applied in a context where there is the role of the teacher/master/parent and the role of the student/apprentice/children. But, without those roles, then is not t...
by Pandora
Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:08 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Question about disclosure
Replies: 15
Views: 1296
Canada

Re: Question about disclosure

One point he (my partner) said I really want to listen to this time and “obey”, he said I should not ever mention or hint at the conversation with my boss ever again. Snap, limerbrain had already created scenarios where I would say things like :” can I ask you someone? Don’t be scared it’s not anot...
by Pandora
Sat Jul 18, 2020 4:38 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Question about disclosure
Replies: 15
Views: 1296
Canada

Re: Question about disclosure

I'm going to put it another vote for 'It's not worth it'. My circumstances were different than yours - I'm married, I don't think he was (I don't even know him enough to know that for sure!) and he wasn't someone I worked with or had to spend time with. I disclosed to my last LO. I didn't tell him a...
by Pandora
Sat Jul 18, 2020 4:00 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: A Rant
Replies: 43
Views: 1295
Canada

Re: A Rant

Seriously though, “my client” and the context you used implies that you are acting In a professional capacity. Did you become a psychiatrist or psychologist or LCSW at some point recently? I was wondering if new members might read some of your posts that way, which can be confusing. I was confused ...
by Pandora
Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:01 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Depressive episodes at work
Replies: 1
Views: 318
Canada

Re: Depressive episodes at work

Hey Steve, I think the situation that you describe might be an excellent opportunity to practice mindfulness. It isn't a quick fix because, as we all know, LO manages to sneak into our thoughts all the damn time. But with practice, you might find yourself beginning to think of LO less and less as yo...
by Pandora
Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:32 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: I feel worthless
Replies: 4
Views: 499
Canada

Re: I feel worthless

Hey BlameTruth, I've felt that way too, feeling ugly and alone and dependent on one person for all my emotional needs. And sometimes I still feel that way. Something I've learned is that I was preemptively cutting off any other chance at relationships because I was afraid of being hurt by others, so...
by Pandora
Fri Jul 10, 2020 8:49 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: relapsed today
Replies: 56
Views: 1551
Canada

Re: relapsed today

Oh Maddie! That sucks. I mean, it's good that he's showing you what a jackass he is, but it still sucks. Big hugs! And LOL at your LO having to spread his dating across the tristate area! Ugh, it's frustrating when we can see what a shitbag LO is but are still drawn to them. Earn your own self-respe...