Repulsed by husband

[Caitlyn]

Yeah, it's bad and I feel like a terrible person. But I'm still obsessed with LO even though he's been seeing someone else.

[HelpWithGOLO]

You're not a terrible person. Limerence messes with your thoughts and emotions and is a very hard thing to deal with. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I fully understand how the LE can affect your attraction to your SO. I've had times in the past where I found myself wishing so badly that my LO was my wife instead. I felt awful as soon as the thought came to mind. I'm obsessed with my LO, too. She's a constant thought on my mind and I even dream about her sometimes. I'm reminding myself that she would never be able to live up to the fantasy I've built in my head. I've been trying to remind myself of all the reasons I married my wife in the first place. I wish I had helpful advice for you but I'm going through this as well. I just want to say I completely understand how you're feeling. It's so easy to let feelings and desires take over when under the influence of limerence. I've had to talk myself out of doing things that I know I would regret later several times. Please, please don't act on impulses and end up doing something you might regret later. And please be patient with yourself as you navigate this. I'm telling this to myself as well.

[yoguisan]

Hi Caitlyn.

HelpWithGOLO is right. Limerence is an insane thing, it has led me down paths and made me do things I'd never do otherwise. It put thoughts in my head that I never had before, and that would sound like absolute madness for anyone else. But it is what it is; ultimately, the only battle to be fought is inside our skulls. It's very easy to succumb to impulses, I know I have several times over the last few months, but it's important that you resist them as much as you can. And if possible, don't fight this alone, we're here to help. And don't feel bad about these thoughts; limerence clouds our judgement, like abstinence does the same to an addict. After all, we're addicts. Our drug is someone out there. And like so, it can destroy us from the inside if we allow that