When trauma-bonds are no longer needed

[L-F]

Came across this which I adored. It makes me wonder why so many of us are afraid of being honest with our partners.
Or is it that if we are honest with them we are afraid of them leaving, so choose to remain silent to reinforce the trauma bond.
Perhaps limerence forces us to grow and we no longer find the trauma bond with our SO is the same anymore? Which forces us to face our own stagnation, which can then lead to depression, perhaps?
Perhaps we've learned we no longer "need" our SO?
Perhaps this growth thing is overrated or undervalued?
Perhaps it's our partner's growth that causes us to shrink due to not being able to keep up with their growth?
Anyway, something to ponder.

"THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING SINGLE

‘What people don’t realize is that some people are single in this generation because they are healed, which makes them incompatible with trauma bonds.

Unfortunately, trauma bonds are the template of our culture at this time.

Those who choose peace over trauma will have difficulty in relationships because most people that we meet are emotionally damaged in some way.

Healed people seek healthy bonds. These bonds hold space for authenticity and correction. It’s kind of like an oxymoron.

About 90% of the relationships/marriages that we see are actually trauma bonds. Those involved “need” the other person to make them feel whole because they’re both broken mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually."
Author Unknown

[David]

interesting concept and one that makes sense -

[JupiterTaco]

Now I don't feel like such a weirdo for being single most of my life. Recently being in touch with the long-estrsnged uncle made me realize how kind of weird it is that people wonder why you haven't been in relationships rather than why you've been in relationships and cheated on spouses or why you have jumped from relationship to relationship like a lot of people do. Even though people may agree that these things are wrong nobody ever asks that.

I was honest about my relationship history with him; told him all about the halfway house felon, the aspie and the sex offender. Didn't even talk about my latest situation LOL but I was honest about my past limerence and my short lived un-satisfying relationships and a little bit of what I've experienced trauma wise with both genders which affected my ability to feel safe in relationships. How I'm really not kidding when I say I've got to watch who I let my life.

You know I saw something on a limerence support group this morning that really kind of hit home for me it's so strange how we're supposed to find one person that we trust more than anyone trust them with everything and then when the relationship ends we're supposed to just forget about them and ask him from our lives and yeah that is kind of strange when you think about it. Call it attachment wounds or whatever but I know I've always had issues with the idea of that.

Of course the way people are pressured to settle down when they're still young the same way their pressure to find a career when they're still young probably doesn't help it just sets them up for disaster and finding someone who may be incompatible with them in the long term. I'm not the same person I was at 18 and I couldn't imagine being with somebody I was attracted to at 18 and that includes my high school LO LOL!