- Posts: 106
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
I have my LO of six months and I'd say we are friends now, we message daily though not as much as we used to... it's pretty comfortable... I don't get extreme anxiety after messaging him anymore, as I know he will always respond to me now. I don't know if the limerence for him is fading, but... it's not like it was.
But I started messaging with NG about 3 weeks ago... I didn't realize what was happening at first but soon realized, I think he is a narcissist!! He totally sent me tons of romantic stuff, things that hit directly into my heart and soul. He was so romantic. I ate it up. We scheduled to meet in person and then the very next day... bam!! He goes cold on me. Then blows up on me. Tells me to go tell my lies to someone else and that he never sent me anything 'romantic'. That we are just having fun. I talked with a couple friends and they all agreed, this guy was love-bombing me, then turned on me. I canceled the meetup. We didn't talk for a few days... but then we slowly started talking again. Just casual at first... but then late last week and the first half of this week it was back to the romance, and he even agreed if we met in real life and it was as good as it was online, that likely both of us would catch feelings. Well I sure am a sucker... On Tuesday, I agreed to meet up with him again. We planned for the first weekend in June. Well the very next day he is cold, not messaging, gets mad when I reach out to him, is sending me none of the kissy-face emojis or sweet stuff. Last night we get in another fight. He tells me I'm being drama and acting like we are in a relationship. Then he says he is going to bad and just goes offline. Ugggghhhhhhh....
I get so sucked into the love-bombing even though I know it's no more true and real than a stupid romance novel. My heart is just hungry for it... in fact I found a great quote! "We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry." And tbh I know it's all fake, and yet I still keep checking my phone for him, and if he came back to me with that stuff right now, I would fall for it all over again. I wish I could just tell him off, go NC, and be done. But I'm having some trouble staying strong... and I'm kind of beating myself up for falling for the bullshit. As well as missing the hell out of feeling those feelings he made me feel. This is pure hell. And now it's difficult to separate my feelings and anger for NG, from my feelings and anger at LO.
Anyway. I could use some support or help. Not sure what to do or how to do it...
- Posts: 719
- Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:00 pm
- Location: Wonderland
Put yourself first. Always.
If you can enjoy things and be happy, then do that, but if it's causing you pain - walk away. And do it now before you somehow get attached to this NG.
That's the only advice that I can give you. Go full, permanent NC. Block him.
Or if you think the fake romance is worth feeling awful, then keep talking to him. You have a choice. But, I think you should choose you.
LO is married - with two children
(He lives next door) Partially disclosed - NC is in full force
I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"
- Posts: 921
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
Until you stare down what role these guys (objects) are playing in your life, the horrific roller coaster will continue. And it just gets worse as we get older.
I also couldn't help noticing the title of your thread: "Need support staying away from narcissist." This was a new breakthrough for me with the most recent LO, but what you're doing by coming here with the same old stories is just prolonging dependency.
We can all offer you advice, but the person you need to support you is YOU. If you aren't willing to do that, there's only so much anyone can say or do.
And BTW, your "new guy" sounds completely awful. Eww.
- Posts: 1473
- Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:58 pm
love your name, go for the meaning of your name, start again out of the ashes....
Your experience sounds familiar to me,
Are you angry at all, about the way hes treating you?
If not, look for the feelings within you
For me, I had to realise , re feel step by step stuff out of my childhood, so maybe the ashes you have to rise again have their roots earlier in your life, (as is for manyof us)
Hug you, you will make it
- Posts: 4177
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
Jeez, even spelling that out makes me feel icky, having grown up with my mother and her games and plausible deniability. It was never cool to expect a close relationship with another person. It's not icky to cut off someone who is playing with you.
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