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Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Daydreaming
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Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Post by Daydreaming »

Over the years, I could see that Limerence was a great ally in several moments when I was flooded with serious personal and family problems. When my world seemed to collapse, I concentrated all my thoughts on LO and filled myself with the melancholy that these feelings caused me.
Even though it was painful, I felt in control when the rest of my life was falling apart.
Deep down I always used Limerence as a form of protection, a kind of bubble to feel safe in the face of chaos. Proof of this is that feelings for LO intensify during daily adversities.
Brazilian, limerent, passionate and believer that love is the most wonderful thing in the world.

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David
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Re: Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Post by David »

I call it the mother of all distractions. I would ask myself what am I avoiding dealing with if I were not using limerence as a displacement activity.
Do you want help with limerence from the founder of this site?
I'm a qualified counsellor, psychotherapist, medical practitioner and leadership coach.
To book a session see http://loverelations.co.uk/on-line-support-for-limerence-from-dr-david-perl/

CarelessLove
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Re: Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Post by CarelessLove »

I actually told my therapist recently that I was focusing on my LO’s problems as a way to distract me from my own. Unfortunately, just knowing that doesn’t make it easy to stop doing it.

Acrobatica
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Re: Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Post by Acrobatica »

Agreed! I watch how my thoughts turn to LOs when I’m upset. This pattern becomes particularly clear after NC, when an LO has no agency to cause increased or decreased rumination.

Now I sort of treat it like chocolate. Ohh. My thoughts are turning to LO again. Must mean I’m having a bad day under stress.

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: Limerence as a method of protection for life's problems

Post by NoDayDreaming »

yes, but this is a very ineffective way of coping. there is a psychological term for that, but i forgot. the correct way of coping is actually being assertive and tackling the issue directly. but it generates anxiety, and some of us who are too sensitive/anxious can't take it and we tend to run away from issues and hide in escapism such as LE or other addictions.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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