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Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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moreissuesthanvogue
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Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by moreissuesthanvogue » Wed Mar 18, 2020 12:47 pm

I do. I have been making an effort to keep up my NC and not fall into his mind games.

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WishMagick
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by WishMagick » Wed Mar 18, 2020 4:08 pm

Too much?

I'm not sure I'd say that. In my mind "too much" means that I don't do much else other than obsess.
I obsess while I'm doing other things! lol!

I am able to live my life and get things done, but, I think about my LO constantly. I don't try to figure out what he feels about me anymore, but I'm always wondering what he's doing, how he's doing, and wondering when I'll see him again and if it will be a good interaction or a bad one.

I guess I should start thinking about how much more I could do if I put that energy towards something healthy! Though...I do healthy things as well. But I could be doing so much more!
Married - 38.5 yrs old
LO is married - 32 yrs old
(He lives next door)

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

Maddie
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by Maddie » Wed Mar 18, 2020 6:58 pm

WishMagick wrote:
Wed Mar 18, 2020 4:08 pm

I obsess while I'm doing other things! lol!

I am able to live my life and get things done, but, I think about my LO constantly. I don't try to figure out what he feels about me anymore, but I'm always wondering what he's doing, how he's doing, and wondering when I'll see him again and if it will be a good interaction or a bad one.

I guess I should start thinking about how much more I could do if I put that energy towards something healthy! Though...I do healthy things as well. But I could be doing so much more!
This is how I feel. I remember someone on here once described limerence as a hookworm in the brain, and I couldn't agree more! it's always baffled me. Thank God I'm NC with the LO, but not a single day goes by that I don't think of him. My thoughts of him aren't fantasies anymore, so that's a relief. but it's so weird. it's more like background noise now and not accompanied by a severe longing, so I'm trying to be grateful! I am hoping to be more productive and live life a little more...

the fact that I have strong OCD traits helps me to understand it a little better. i'll always be preoccupied with something, lol.

Try to be patient with gradual progress :ymhug:
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

JMS164
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by JMS164 » Thu Mar 19, 2020 12:45 am

I definitely was for a long while. Now, I feel I am able to focus more on other things regularly. Still, I have my days where it's like a chorus in my head, especially if my interactions with LO are fun and positive. Missing them right now, but not in an obsessive way, which is nice.

I know for a lot of people it seemingly never gets better, but time always it the biggest contributing factor for me. That and getting to know the person as a real human and not a perfect object. Hope you get some relief soon.

Limberman
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by Limberman » Fri Mar 20, 2020 12:22 am

I think I am still putting too much energy on LO and still obsessive. I still get on with life but as others have said I feel I could do better in many areas of life if more time and energy could be diverted away from thoughts and focus on LO.

AlizehKhan
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by AlizehKhan » Fri Mar 20, 2020 12:33 am

I am in exact same situation,, always thinking of him. Getting things done but he is always back of mind.

Having strong urge right now to contact him. To unblock him on whatsapp so that he contacts me...

WishMagick wrote:
Wed Mar 18, 2020 4:08 pm
Too much?

I'm not sure I'd say that. In my mind "too much" means that I don't do much else other than obsess.
I obsess while I'm doing other things! lol!

I am able to live my life and get things done, but, I think about my LO constantly. I don't try to figure out what he feels about me anymore, but I'm always wondering what he's doing, how he's doing, and wondering when I'll see him again and if it will be a good interaction or a bad one.

I guess I should start thinking about how much more I could do if I put that energy towards something healthy! Though...I do healthy things as well. But I could be doing so much more!

moreissuesthanvogue
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Re: Do You Think You Give too Much Energy to Your LE & LO?

Post by moreissuesthanvogue » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:27 pm

I’m opting to redirect that energy into myself. I mainly just feel distant for him now. Hopefully that won’t change but you never know with LE. Wishing you all a speedy recovery.

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