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When a coworker LO leaves

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Restless

When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Restless » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:56 pm

Does anyone work where an LO left? If so, how hard was it after they were gone? Lately a lot of people I like have left my company for other opportunities. I worry about LO leaving and how I’ll handle it if that happens. I’m curious if anyone has been in this situation, and if the limerence ended or was it too painful to remain in the environment you knew this person from?

JohnDeux
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:42 pm

Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by JohnDeux » Wed Feb 12, 2020 10:55 pm

Personally, I found it to be a huge relief. I'd already gotten to the point, however, where the lows were killing me the highs all but gone. So it was so much better knowing I was not going to run into her again.....by design, or by accident.
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

L-F
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Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by L-F » Thu Feb 13, 2020 1:39 am

It was bittersweet.
Relieved and haunted.
Still have flashbacks and pangs years later. YEARS later.
But I just remind myself that I have choices. I can live the past. Or move on.
"What we all want, really, is to be loved.
That craving drives our worst behavior." Jodi Picoult
@};-

Windy1

Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Windy1 » Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:06 am

Sad and relieved at the same time. I hadn’t discovered the term Limerence yet so I thought it was a simple crush. I figured “out of sight, out of mind”; boy was I wrong. It just got worse. All of my interactions with LO were at my small place of work and I still work there. For several weeks after she left Anyplace she sat, or spoke with me, or I caught her checking me out would continue the endless rumination.

I’m in a much better place now, you may be better off than I was due to the fact that you’re aware of limerence. Good wishes to you whether your LO stays or goes!

Rider23.1

Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Rider23.1 » Thu Feb 13, 2020 4:52 am

I have been hoping that my own LO, who is a coworker would move away, that would seem like salvation. It is also the only circumstance where I might have the guts to disclose (as she is literally walking out the door), although that would seem kind of pointless. Alas it is only going to get worse, she is moving into a new position where I will actually have more interaction with her than ever before. In terms of your own experience though, no doubt there is going to a period of grieving, I think that is probably normal, but permanent NC is surely the preferred outcome.

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Sara
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Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Sara » Thu Feb 13, 2020 1:53 pm

I stayed when LO left .. actually it was liberating!!
We were sitting nextto each other so we' were constantly together i felt we were going to do something silly if he stayed .. t
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

marko
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Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by marko » Thu Feb 13, 2020 8:38 pm

It was really hard at first. Every bit of the place carries reminders. There is still a pic of her in the main hallway. 2 years on it triggers good memories, but I'm glad she left. Not sure I'd still be a semi sane person had she stayed.

Restless

Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Restless » Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:07 pm

Thanks for the replies. It’s encouraging to hear some people felt relief. I imagine a major benefit would be to no longer have to anticipate possible interactions. Right now I spend too much of my day hoping we’ll have one. We’re not in the same department so we don’t cross paths very often, but the hope is always there.

JupiterTaco
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Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:59 pm

My fourth LO left my former workplace before last LO had come along. Like JD, by that time I was ready to let it go so it was a relief as much as it still sucked.

I'm not going to say it didn't help that I knew he was actually in a worse place than me, jail, so maybe not out looking for new supply as quickly...
Own your shadows or they'll own you.

Cocobean
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Re: When a coworker LO leaves

Post by Cocobean » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:31 am

I was so happy my coworker left because I wasn’t going to. The day I found out he resigned I felt so happy, I was finally free, then I felt really sad after I processed the excitement. It was so strange feeling happy and sad at the same time, but I couldn’t stay working there, coworkers kept bringing up memories for months afterward and I left after a few months. Too many triggers and reminders. Changing jobs and being completely no contact helped with moving on and healing. Life just goes on, I should have changed jobs much sooner. Completely happy where I am now. GL😎

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