- Posts: 5
- Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2020 7:59 am
A couple of kids overheard and afsked if we really were getting married. We said sure just to mess with them.
So it became a kind of joke and we soon one of us ( cant remember who ) came up with the idea of having a pretend marriage party for the kids thinking most of Them were in On the joke.
AS the Day neared I Got Cold feet... sure, I liked her and she was pretty... but it felt WRONG!
I was feeling that I was becoming infatuated with her and I did not want that.
The whole afterschool program was about to have a friday/saturday seminar complete at a kind of hotel. We each got a room and could spend the Night aften the friday night party. I was nervous. I knew I had a crash. Stayed in my room most of the night. Feared something was up. Had my first panik attack.
I considered calling it off but did’nt want to upset anyone. We had a pretend marriage and AS we were about to kiss we let EVERYONE in On the joke.
I was relieved... now THiS would stop
But then a co worker told me that my LO had kissed another colleague at the party.
THiS was over a year ago.
I have only learned the term limerence a few days ago but I really hits the mail On the head.
Because I have longed SO much for her that it pains me to think about it. All the ups and downs, all the overanalyzing... and the feeling of olding control.
We have a good report and have also spend time outside of work eating sushi. She lives nearby so I have tweaked my hours so I Can give her a lift to and from work. Sometimes we sit and chat in the car for an hour.
I really DO want the friendship and nothing more and even had a girlfriend for a while to try and forget... but I could not.
Yesterday I told her I was staying aften work because I was behind and she tolk the bus. In reality I was not that behind, but It felt both like White lying and empowering at the same time.
I have considered telling her about all of this. Especially that I NEVER WANTED IT, that IT JUST KEPT GOING She really isn’t my “type” even though I admire her positive outlook and friendly
Well that was my story... feel free to comment
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:06 pm
good luck in your limerence journey, we are all there ! Its a great website with lots of support and encouragement from fellow limerents
Me: happily married 32, 2 kids.
Limerence since sept 2015 (codependent ? Platonic friendship?)