A pretend marriage led me to LO

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Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2020 7:59 am

A pretend marriage led me to LO

Post by Sharling »

I work at an after School program and two years ago I Got a new co worker. She was Nice budt I did not pay her much attention. Half a year later we are joking in the kitchen about the broken dishwasher. I said “when we get I will buy you a dishwasher”. She said something along the lines “ ok, I will marry you”

A couple of kids overheard and afsked if we really were getting married. We said sure just to mess with them.
So it became a kind of joke and we soon one of us ( cant remember who ) came up with the idea of having a pretend marriage party for the kids thinking most of Them were in On the joke.

AS the Day neared I Got Cold feet... sure, I liked her and she was pretty... but it felt WRONG!
I was feeling that I was becoming infatuated with her and I did not want that.

The whole afterschool program was about to have a friday/saturday seminar complete at a kind of hotel. We each got a room and could spend the Night aften the friday night party. I was nervous. I knew I had a crash. Stayed in my room most of the night. Feared something was up. Had my first panik attack.

I considered calling it off but did’nt want to upset anyone. We had a pretend marriage and AS we were about to kiss we let EVERYONE in On the joke.

I was relieved... now THiS would stop

But then a co worker told me that my LO had kissed another colleague at the party.


THiS was over a year ago.

I have only learned the term limerence a few days ago but I really hits the mail On the head.
Because I have longed SO much for her that it pains me to think about it. All the ups and downs, all the overanalyzing... and the feeling of olding control.

We have a good report and have also spend time outside of work eating sushi. She lives nearby so I have tweaked my hours so I Can give her a lift to and from work. Sometimes we sit and chat in the car for an hour.

I really DO want the friendship and nothing more and even had a girlfriend for a while to try and forget... but I could not.

Yesterday I told her I was staying aften work because I was behind and she tolk the bus. In reality I was not that behind, but It felt both like White lying and empowering at the same time.

I have considered telling her about all of this. Especially that I NEVER WANTED IT, that IT JUST KEPT GOING She really isn’t my “type” even though I admire her positive outlook and friendly

Well that was my story... feel free to comment

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Re: A pretend marriage led me to LO

Post by Sara »

Your story is interesting it just shows the paradox of limerence we dont want rationally to be with LO but we still crave for their attention and a close relationship with them?! No reason to justify why we want the closeness with them we just want them...
good luck in your limerence journey, we are all there ! Its a great website with lots of support and encouragement from fellow limerents
LO: happily married 34, ex co-worker
Me: happily married 32, 2 kids.
Limerence since sept 2015 (codependent ? Platonic friendship?)

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