Platonic Limerence

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Elmop3632
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Platonic Limerence

Post by Elmop3632 »

Is platonic limerence possible? Or is there no such thing? Since all limerence has to be sexual. I couldn't find the previous forum where somebody asked the same question. Please direct me to that post.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by NoDayDreaming »

i'll bite. even though there are erotic/sexual underpinnings of limerence, most don't consummate it and keep it on the platonic level, at least on the surface.
i guess it's possible to be attracted to someone on the level of deep attachment and honesty alone and keep it purely platonic bypassing the erotic/sexual thing. but would we call it limerence? i think not, because then there is no addiction, no fear, and no emotional roller-coaster.

JupiterTaco
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by JupiterTaco »

Elmop3632 wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:58 pm
Is platonic limerence possible? Or is there no such thing? Since all limerence has to be sexual. I couldn't find the previous forum where somebody asked the same question. Please direct me to that post.
Yes there is such a thing. Many people have asked this question (possibly even in the sexuality section). Now there's this idea that's been brought up that men tend to experience non-sexual limerence whereas women experience sexual limerence, but it probably varies. Mine was sexual and I thought that was all it was until jealousy.
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NVTS
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by NVTS »

@JT:
As a male serial limerent( hopefully ending with the latest LO), although sex is a compulsory component of LE it isn’t the main driver. My T looked at my LE pattern and saw that as a child I have been looking for a DEEP CONNECTION with a female that I didn’t get (to this day) from my mother.

If there’s no physical attraction then I don’t think LE can occur.
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L-F
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by L-F »

NVTS wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:49 pm
As a male serial limerent( hopefully ending with the latest LO), although sex is a compulsory component of LE it isn’t the main driver. My T looked at my LE pattern and saw that as a child I have been looking for a DEEP CONNECTION with a female that I didn’t get (to this day) from my mother.

If there’s no physical attraction then I don’t think LE can occur.
So what you are saying NVTS is that men use SEX as a way to find that deep connection?
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NVTS
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by NVTS »

Not necessarily L-F. In the definitions of Limerence there is necessarily a sexual attraction component, without it LE doesn’t occur. I (we) come across attractive people ALL THE TIME, whether at work or the local coffee shop or standing in the que at the grocery store. For LE to happen (for me anyway) there has to be an intellectual and seemingly spiritual element in addition to the physical attraction.

I suppose most men who have a healthy attachment to their mother or mother figure won’t seek that sort of connection with another woman. They are just normal people with secure attachment styles.

So had I not found LO to be attractive I suppose I could have had a relatively healthy platonic friendship all else being the same.

My mother being both emotionally unavailable and not being the touchy/ feely person(hugs, etc, non sexual physical intimacy I suppose) has really caused a disorganized style of attachment in me. Therefore I am constantly seeking this perfect woman and unfortunately SO doesn’t fit the bill( probably hoping to meet that Unicorn), I put LO on that pedastel; which is/was extremely unfair to her.
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L-F
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by L-F »

NVTS wrote:
Sun Jan 12, 2020 4:49 pm
Not necessarily L-F. In the definitions of Limerence there is necessarily a sexual attraction component, without it LE doesn’t occur.
See this I find interesting. There have been several limerent males on here state that their limerence wasn't sexual in nature. Meaning, they found their LO attractive and quite possibly physically attractive, yet limerence per se didn't involve wanting to have sex with their LO.

Which now makes me scratch my head as to whether or not they were textbook limerent?
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
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NoDayDreaming

Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by NoDayDreaming »

L-F wrote:
Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:44 pm
There have been several limerent males on here state that their limerence wasn't sexual in nature. Meaning, they found their LO attractive and quite possibly physically attractive, yet limerence per se didn't involve wanting to have sex with their LO.
IMHO, physical attractiveness is based on eroticism/sexuality. and the drive to be emotionally close to LO is in part driven by the instinct to mate. but it doesn't mean that i wanted to have sex with my LOs on the rational level. actually, quite the opposite.

L-F
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by L-F »

Naturally we don't want to on a rational level, on a limerent level quite possibly.

Thus, those males who weren't attracted to their LO on a sexual level (whether limerent or rationally), confuses me.
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WishMagick
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Re: Platonic Limerence

Post by WishMagick »

NVTS wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:49 pm
although sex is a compulsory component of LE it isn’t the main driver
For me and this LE, this just isn't true.

Sex and sexual attraction is and was the main driver. I became instantly limerent over my current LO just by looking at him once. The obsessive thoughts and sex fantasies began immediately after I saw him. I didn't know anything about him. I hadn't even heard him speak.

And the last LE that I had before this was the same deal. Only saw the guy's photo, and I was instantly limerent (Though, that was a really weird experience that lead me to seeing his photo and meeting him. So maybe that doesn't count).
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."

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