- On Friday, SO and I sat DD down and told her we are taking some space and separating. More thoughts on this are on the SO 4th affair thread.
- It's been 3 weeks NC with LO. Feels like I've aged 5 years
- NC really feels a bit more like LC, which really kinda sucks sometimes. LO and family is to move out of the neighborhood in December. They're no longer across the street, but still in this neighborhood in a short term rental until the new-construction house is ready. New construction house, is only about a mile or two from here; very close to where my parents live. With LO still in this hood, she pulls up and makes appearances in 2 of my next door neighbors' driveways, sometimes when I'm there and/or in my garage, and/or pulling in myself. So awkward with dodging any eye contact or engagement. Pretending I don't have a tidal wave surge of conflicting emotions with such continued repetitive proximity. SUCKS!!!
- I've developed a closer friendship with another female neighbor (no, I swear and promise it's NOT limerence!). This other neighbor has also been friends with SO and I the last 5 years, and feels sorry for our plight. As our families are close, we've shared our story and issues with this other neighbor lady. And while also friends with my LO, they're not necessarily bosom buddies. This other neighbor lady shared that she's always know my LO to be a MAJOR FLIRT, and (as others of you on this forum have opined and suspected), LO has indeed gotten into trouble before with other guys/dudes in the neighborhood.
- I continue to (ravenously and without satiety) comb and devour the internet to shorten my learning curves with these things related to limerence, relationships, and psychology, etc. IN my googling and youtubing, I've come to learn a lot more about the hot & cold behaviors and push/pull behaviors... apparently such things are exactly the stuff that draws people in and gets them hooked and addicted/enslaved... reading about the hot/cold and push/pull, I felt like I was reading a play by play description of my LO's behaviors with me... I believe as for my LO, it's through sheer force of personality - this is how she is and is wired... much like her father - the life of the party, congenial, magnanimous, inviting and open. In fact the strip of the block where LO's last house was is now dead. Everyone seemed to like her. They had that house that everyone descended upon. She was the mom that would have 3 or 4 boys for an overnight sleepover... super-mom, making her son happy, etc. I believe in her case, it is largely personality, and not malice... not like she's a 'player' with 'game'. But in my studies and learning, apparently for some people out there it's straight up intentionally manipulative tactics and strategy!
- My SO recently said she also had a 'girl-crush' on LO... and, even if only surface and innocent, it kind of messed with my head a bit. Not limerent... not sexual attraction or lesbian proclivity/propensity or anything like that... but my SO said "If I was, I would"... that's the sort of shit that can mess with even a non-limerent guy!... I'm tellin ya, this LO of mine charms everybody!
And now a real kicker:
LO called SO today. SO told me about it... though we're separated we're still in daily contact, etc... and even though my LE is a source of pain and discomfort, we still talk some of these things through to try to make sense of it and articulate where things stand, and how we are processing, etc. ANYWAYS, LO had been wanting to follow up with my SO since LO's recent move to ask how she's doing and to let her know she's there (even though her own marriage is not well either). But LO hadn't wanted to tell this to SO in front of me.
LO reiterated to my SO about how she had become uncomfortable with me after disclosure, and she needed to lay down some boundaries and take some space "FOR A WHILE". This kicked my limer-brain into gear. I had been thinking the friendship was totally irreparably damaged and lost forever. But now it sounds like there's a possibility LO might come around to communicate and/or potentially open comms again.
Not sure if LO knows about my SO's infidelities. However, a couple of other neighbor ladies apparently told LO that SO and I are either on the rocks, or separated. Also, one of these other neighbor ladies (the gossip of the neighborhood, and a real 'know-it-all' who seems to judge everyone, and is also really a witchy woman) had the gall to tell LO that the marriage of SO and I being on the rocks is LO's fault! But here's the thing, although (as far as we know LO doesn't know about my SO's infidelities), this witchy neighbor lady does know about my SO's infidelities. So how then would she accuse LO of breaking us up?
This is all so juicy... too much drama... to complex and layered to even keep track of... who needs soap operas?!?
Also, as reported by SO about this call: neither LO now SO told each other or mentioned about my LE disclosures.
Now, I must keep fighting the good fight and double down my efforts even more fiercely to resist breaking NC.