Maybe it's not all that different. I think both of us want to be especially valued for who we are. In the story I tell myself, the "who I am" is someone who sees, loves, and values deeply. On some level, I want to be rewarded for that by getting to see that it matters, that it brings life to someone I care for. It sounds sort of noble, but I'm afraid it's more selfish. *echoed sigh*Mezzoone wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:32 amWow Limewreck. I think I want my LO to rescue me. The way you described what you want to give to your LO, that’s exactly what I’m always seeking from LO. To be seen and appreciated in ways I feel like the world misses. I think my LO is the only one who could really understand or get the depth of things I feel or think. I just thought that was interesting... that we’re both the limerent ones but have exact opposite needs from our LO. *sigh*
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- Posts: 16
- Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2019 2:39 pm
- Age: 40
> I wish I knew. It's like a mystery to me. You can't really explain it. But
> here's the recipe, I think.
> I would say first ingredient is there must be attraction from the first
> moment. I could go on and on about my LO's face, his height, the way he
> smells, his teeth (odd, I know), his shoulders, his hair, his body, his
> smile, his laugh, his voice, his hands, his mannerisms, his skin, his
> But while the initial attraction draws you in at first, the second
> ingredient is probably the most important. You like their mind and
> personality. You have experiences in common. Maybe similar traumas or past
> failures? This person understands you and shares a similar sense of humor.
> There is something about him or her that you admire.
> Third. What usually seals the deal is that you think they like you too.
> This person seeks you out somehow, or at least seems to enjoy your company.
> Maybe this person takes a personal risk to pursue a relationship with you.
> Fourth. You feel like you're walking on air when you're with this person.
> Time condenses. This is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to
> get two people to mate. Dopamine.
> The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from
> really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent
> reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate.
> It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes
> you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.
> Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs
> and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction
> to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your
> LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.
> What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this
> person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of
> people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the
> opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out
> there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through
> rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of
> limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their
> lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get
> stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other
> So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly
> disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever
> have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on
> steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of
> people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts
> (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what
> a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men
> were coming on to me in droves.
> So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except
> that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical
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- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:46 am
It wasn't like this for my other two LEs. My first one who I met online, we had/have a lot of mutual interests and could always have interesting non-awkward conversations even within the first hours after I gave her FD. The second one, who I transferred to after the first one, was just generally a warm and friendly person whose energy I felt safe and calm in; even on the very first day I met this girl (before she became an LO) I felt safe to open up about some more personal issues I had.
In general I think I tend to gravitate towards cute girls rather than hot ones, and I like people who make me feel welcomed and happy inside.
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