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source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

For some, limerence isn't about suffering. For others, they do not see limerence as akin to an addiction. Others do not see limerence as originating in childhood from poor parenting and dysfunctional attachments.

Here is a place to share different beliefs as well as share your own POV.
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NoDayDreaming
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source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by NoDayDreaming » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:27 pm

here:
http://www.dana.org/cerebrum/default.aspx?id=39351

too much to quote here, but very relevant to limerence IMHO.
i'm thinking lust and attraction avoidance is the must in limerence avoidance. any opinions?
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Fri Aug 16, 2019 2:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

peter.rabbit
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by peter.rabbit » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:50 pm

@DD, thanks for the link, will spend some quality time reading it in depth.
Married.
In LE with married LO :-\
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "

Maddie
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by Maddie » Sat Aug 17, 2019 2:08 pm

Good stuff, DD!!

Ty!
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by NoDayDreaming » Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:46 pm

while googling for one thing, i found this instead: https://www.wired.com/2009/02/antidepressants/

sounds like part 2 of the previous theme.
But a new theory suggests that SSRI antidepressants may also subtly alter the fundamental chemistry of love and romance, snuffing the first sparks between two people otherwise destined to become lovers, and preventing couples from bonding.

"There's every reason to think SSRIs blunt your ability to fall and stay in love," said Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University biological anthropologist who has pioneered the modern science of love.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by NoDayDreaming » Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:57 pm

the part 3 is here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1764845/

while an older paper, has a wealth of detailed neuroscience info on love (and rejection, too), and not just in humans. warning: very detailed and technical though.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by Angel » Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:10 pm

daydreamer wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:46 pm
while googling for one thing, i found this instead: https://www.wired.com/2009/02/antidepressants/

sounds like part 2 of the previous theme.
But a new theory suggests that SSRI antidepressants may also subtly alter the fundamental chemistry of love and romance, snuffing the first sparks between two people otherwise destined to become lovers, and preventing couples from bonding.

"There's every reason to think SSRIs blunt your ability to fall and stay in love," said Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University biological anthropologist who has pioneered the modern science of love.
A case study - been on long term SSRIs for depression and anxiety, and I had no problems falling into this LE. Similar situation with my LO.

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by NoDayDreaming » Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:14 pm

Angel, i understand, we are not identical. even the above theory is considered controversial.

edit: see my related recent post on bupropion. maybe the ideal combo is SSRI/SNRI when exposed to LO and bupropion while exposed to SO. the only problem is those are usually long acting compounds.

now, to preempt criticism, i'm not advocating taking drugs. cold turkey (NC) is the best thing. for some of us who can't do cold turkey, there may be a hope.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Angel
Posts: 181
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Re: source with a wealth of info on lust, attraction and attachment

Post by Angel » Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:37 pm

daydreamer wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:14 pm
Angel, i understand, we are not identical. even the above theory is considered controversial.

edit: see my related recent post on bupropion. maybe the ideal combo is SSRI/SNRI when exposed to LO and bupropion while exposed to SO. the only problem is those are usually long acting compounds.

now, to preempt criticism, i'm not advocating taking drugs. cold turkey (NC) is the best thing. for some of us who can't do cold turkey, there may be a hope.
I know - there are always exceptions to any study or theory. I’m not messing with my meds because it’s working for me, maybe will ask dr to up the SSRI.

NC is the best, and I’m lucky that LO lives far, far away from me.

Actually, the interesting part is that I wasn’t physically attracted to him and can’t even picture myself sleeping with him.

But his eyes... his eyes... well, that’s for another thread.

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