- Site Admin
- Posts: 3152
- Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:22 pm
- Location: London UK
- Age: 59
For Relationship Coaching help see www.loverelations.co.uk
For Individual Coaching and Mentoring see www.drdavidperl.com
- Posts: 986
- Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:27 pm
Over and over again for 1.5 years until I dragged my dignity back, limping and broken.
I regret disclosure because of how Patti put it so well in another thread. Now that it's "out there" it LO's to do with whatever. And my limerence blinded me to the fact that LO has no reason or loyalty to me. He doesn't have to keep my propositions private. I gave over my power and won't do it again. It was never his job to calm my attachment wounds even though that's what I was seeking.
- Posts: 1134
- Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
i disclosed repeatedly for the sake of openness and honesty in both LEs. the very last disclosure (how far i lost my mind about her, and i was nearly psychotic then) was actually hoping that she would panic, give me rejection, and do NC (they call it nuclear option here?), because i could not do it myself. it worked like a charm, BTW.
- Posts: 148
- Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
In LE with married LO
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "
- Posts: 213
- Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:48 pm
Sad to say, one often end up in nothing but disappointment after disclosure..
A gentle let down will still give u a sense of lingering hope .. LE will still be there
A firm let down will cause yourself misery and embarrassment and most likely it signifies the end of any friendship as it will be awkward from here on...
A reciprocation from LO will give you a climax but statistically, it will not end up well if one or both you are already In a committed relationship.. all the uncertainties and guilt will set in..
Can't think of any other good outcome that disclosure will bring..
- Posts: 1114
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Selfishness on my part, I do realize that. I'm regretting every thing related to him, and my behavior. It was wrong.
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:52 pm
That is part of all of this isn’t? For me it was all about selfishness, wanting that ego boost, and to have the feeling of having someone besides my SO adore and admire me. For someone who has always struggled with low self-esteem, what a high that was!
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests