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Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
BobSmith
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Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by BobSmith » Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:52 pm

Ok, Gearing up to unfriend (already muted, but I peeked at her FB page after some brief messages between us 2 Fridays ago, which confirmed her new boyfriend with pictures and stuff) . I'm waiting to see if she wishes me Happy Birthday or not next week (I know, I know, :ymblushing: ), then that has to be the end of it.

It does get better after this though? Please say it does.
Last edited by BobSmith on Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by NoDayDreaming » Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:19 pm

it does, you need patience.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

mamasita
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by mamasita » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:38 pm

Out of sight will eventually mean out of mind. It takes longer than any of us wish.
I will warn you, there's definitely a period of "blah" and sadness. In that time, dig deep within...what do you need, what did you miss?
LO can't and won't give you any fulfillment there.
And then be kind to yourself, (patience, self-love, do something you enjoy, etc) you are in recovery. @};-

BobSmith
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by BobSmith » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:56 pm

mamasita wrote:
Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:38 pm
Out of sight will eventually mean out of mind. It takes longer than any of us wish.
I will warn you, there's definitely a period of "blah" and sadness. In that time, dig deep within...what do you need, what did you miss?
LO can't and won't give you any fulfillment there.
And then be kind to yourself, (patience, self-love, do something you enjoy, etc) you are in recovery. @};-
God, I hope this ends soon. It'll be 9 months since we 'ended' on my birthday. I had been no contact for around 5 months (we went to a gig together at the end of Feb, with promises of keeping in touch after, which never happened) but I broke NC a few Fridays ago, when we FB messaged each other for a bit. I lost my partner of 8 years to cancer in 2015, but this feels worse, somehow.

Angel
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by Angel » Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:16 pm

Go even further - block her and then you can’t even see her profile and she can’t connect with you thru FB our Messenger.

It was so hard to do when I decided NC - but I also blocked LO on Instagram, Twitter and my emails, WhatsApp, and whatever other app we’ve connected on. But it makes my phone safe to use, otherwise the temptation is too great!

I’m only a little over a week in. I can’t say it’s better yet...

L-F
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by L-F » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:14 pm

Eeeek this is scary! I've been there and I was a complete nutter unfriending, friending, unfriending, friending - she didn't accept the last friend request =))

Its difficult, but is one strategy that does help. Happy birthday for next week!
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

L-F
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by L-F » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:21 pm

Angel wrote:
Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:16 pm
Go even further - block her and then you can’t even see her profile and she can’t connect with you thru FB our Messenger.

It was so hard to do when I decided NC - but I also blocked LO on Instagram, Twitter and my emails, WhatsApp, and whatever other app we’ve connected on. But it makes my phone safe to use, otherwise the temptation is too great!

I’m only a little over a week in. I can’t say it’s better yet...
(*) WTG! O:-)

Guilt, shame, anger, happiness, glee, pain, etc, are all feelings that come and go. Watch them and let them flow. Don't become attached to them. It's a trap - a game the mind likes to play to trip us up into feeling guilty or ashamed. There is no shame in doing something that will ultimately set us free.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

Maddie
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by Maddie » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:05 pm

I want to get to the point where I can do this too. I agree with the others who say it's the best road. I can tell you that FB is what kept the embers burning for me before a full blown relapse of limerence in May of this year. It would be so easy to fall back into old behavior should he reach out to me. Also, I reflect back on 2 birthdays where he never wished me happy bday. Of course, I never missed his bday in the past 2 years. then again, I'm the limerent one.

wishing you strength. let us know how it goes.
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

peter.rabbit
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by peter.rabbit » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:58 pm

Social media WILL drive a perfectly sane and well adjusted person crazy, Heaven help those of us that have issues such as Limerence. :|
Married.
In LE with married LO :-\
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: Gearing up to Unfriend on Facebook

Post by NoDayDreaming » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:00 pm

peter.rabbit wrote:
Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:58 pm
Social media WILL drive a perfectly sane and well adjusted person crazy, Heaven help those of us that have issues such as Limerence. :|
+1
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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