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How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

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Limberman

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Limberman » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:36 am

Feeling like messaging her to ask why she hasn't replied to my msgs from yesterday... Wondering if she is angry with me or playing games etc.

Trying not to...

Hopeless Lomantic
Posts: 184
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:48 pm
Somalia

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Hopeless Lomantic » Fri Aug 16, 2019 7:09 am

Please dun do that.. maybe u can text SO something sweet instead whenever there is an urge .. e.g sending SO an old photo of when u were both dating etc.

Limberman

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Limberman » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:54 am

Thanks HL.

This limerence thing really sucks. She is occupying my mind constantly. I get jealous. I worry about her. Etc. Etc. I am not concentrating on things and people that I should be. My mind is not functioning correctly.

I had thoughts about disclosing to LO the next time we meet. Trying to justify it by thinking that it will kill.the limerence once she flat out says that she does not and can not think of me in that way. Also to live in a purposeful and honest way I should let her know my feelings and that I am after more than just a platonic friendship.

Really sucks. Don't know what to do.

Addison
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:09 pm
Gender:
Spain

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Addison » Fri Aug 16, 2019 10:08 am

Hi Limberman,

I know how you feel, been there (the love, the lust, the pure sexual desire) lots of times… And I can tell you that your mind is tricking you, giving you excuses to disclose, to put everything on the table and see if you get lucky… Well, most of the times, even when people do get lucky and are “limerently” loved back by their LO, luck dissipates in a short time after the disclosure. And by then, most of the consequences of your actions will be irreversible. Think about that before you do anything. And, if in doubt, do not do it.

Limberman

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Limberman » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:02 am

Thanks Addison.

How do you go about starting to care less about LO and in general getting her out of my mind so that I can actually do things properly in the rest of my life (including taking care of SO and my family)?

Any quick tips? I think writing things here is helping me. As I mentioned early I have not been able to disclose to anyone including my SO. It is all in my mind and releasing some of it here helps a little.

daydreamer
Posts: 859
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by daydreamer » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:23 am

Limberman wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:36 am
she hasn't replied to my msgs from yesterday...
i would take, she clearly gave you an answer there. you just have to be able to read it. unfortunately, in the fog of LE, one has to hit us with a hummer for us to see it.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

daydreamer
Posts: 859
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by daydreamer » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:24 am

Limberman wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:02 am

Any quick tips?
check the sticky (and other) topics here: viewforum.php?f=73
plenty of tricks.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

Addison
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:09 pm
Gender:
Spain

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Addison » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:16 pm

Yes, Daydreamer is right. The absence of an answer is a very good one, actually. She didn't reply because she did not want to.

I don't have any miraculous tip and I am sure that I am not a good example, although I haven't disclosed to anyone, not to LO, not to SO, anyone (only you, guys). I know some people think that disclosing to your SO is the best, but I do not agree. I strongly believe that hurting your SO because of a fantasy is totally unadvisable.

One thing I do when I felt willing to disclose to LO was thinking about the humiliation that I would probably suffer. It worked (and still works) for me because I am a very proud person. I know it is not a good thing to be, but turns out to be very effective in this situation!

If you’re feeling like you’re about disclose, call someone: a friend, your mother, grandma, anyone. The less sexual tension you have with the person you chose to call, the better! ;)

Limberman

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Limberman » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:58 pm

Thank you for the feedback and advice.

I see where you are coming from regarding the no reply to MSG's. She has done this before and will reply to me some time later. Even so I guess it shows that I am not high on her list of priorities otherwise a reply would come much faster than 24 hours usually. Even with my male friends I and they normally reply well within a day.

I am confused about disclosure. Some people on this site and others seem to think it could be a good idea. Then there are others who think it is not a good idea.

Addison
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:09 pm
Gender:
Spain

Re: How to tell if still limerent or just lust remains?

Post by Addison » Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:26 pm

deleted
Last edited by Addison on Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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