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NC needed before my LO gets married

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?
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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:27 pm

Hi wishmagic
Its difficult to understand your Los behavior... hes probably trying to put some barriers between you two because he doesnt want to be in a situation out of control?!

We speak a lot with my Lo now, everyday and he sends as well. But more me and thats okay im used to it.

Were both worried about corona and keeping each other posted, he offered help because im in quarantine now.

Yes we are very close, its hard to rlly figure out why but yes its more an EA than a friendship given that its kept secret
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Sun Mar 15, 2020 2:44 pm

Im reaching out a lot, he does too. Evenings / weekend. 3/4 times a day. More than any other friend.
Sending funny things online/ articles/ update on corona.
I cant deny it, we are very close - and yet its secret and and we havent been physical, just knees touching, body brushing "innocently", he opened his hand once to take mine i pretended to not see.. im the silly one i should have put my hand inside his and do what we both want.
Ive resisted because morally i cannot cheat its imprinted in me.
Still i dont reject him totally, He doesnt reject me , we are just innocent friends turning around each other having weekly lunches and daily interactions. Almost 5 years keep going. One kid later one mariage later still turning.
Trying to stop this circling. Going back to orbit. Leaving the orbit and coming back.
It doesnt end
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Tue Mar 17, 2020 1:16 pm

Update: im feeling very tired and unwell... most likely ive got corona and my husband too. We are day5 of quarantine! Not easy!!!
With the kids and their energy and their fight its keeping us busy... ive been texting a lot with LO and i dont feel good about it i will try and stop for any form of support from him because bless him its never enough!! Even if he also texts back straight away, and sometimes he sends things too.
He recommended a reality tv show about love and said its "crual" i wondered if he referred to me as crual?! Probably not!
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

Helpmeplease
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Helpmeplease » Fri Mar 20, 2020 3:57 pm

Am sorry Sara

In this environment it's so important to make sure you look after yourself .. maybe even before you look after others

Quarantine is rough but can you use it to find some time for you and SO?

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by NoDayDreaming » Sat Mar 21, 2020 3:42 pm

Sara wrote:
Tue Mar 17, 2020 1:16 pm
Update: im feeling very tired and unwell... most likely ive got corona and my husband too.
Sara, please let us know how you and your family are doing.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:31 pm

Thank you feeling much better today, more energy, recovered the smell and taste which apparently is one symptom of corona :)
We are recovering slowly.
The past few days have been amazing with my SO we spoke so much, and are fully in love, we help each other, rediscovering why we first fell in love,..
I didnt think much of LO actually! We do text a lot to see how we are, exchanging jokes and articles so hes still my friend. But the empty space has been filled by my so again. Its powerful.
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by NoDayDreaming » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:08 am

Wow, just wow. Virus being a blessing in disguise. I agree, when you find a way to fill your heart with love, limerence is non issue anymore. Congrats for finding it with your SO. Not an easy task.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:08 pm

Days are passing and we text all the time with Lo. Morning evening weekends. He send me a lot of stuff, articles , funny things online ... which I enjoy. If i dont text for few hours, he texts.
Does he miss me? Was he worried about me?
I guess yes to both which is what normal friends do but we definitely increased the frequency of our contact.
He said today that he went for a walk with his wife and i got jealous ... i shouldnt i know but i miss our walks and chats and i would have loved to be with him. Especially i have not been out for nearly 2 weeks.
I Need to put an end to my connection with this man.I have real feelings for him now and i see him being attached / addicted as well. I hate this situation.
I dont like how I let that happen - i got addicted to him since the beginning it is crazy how i cant let it go... nearly 5 years.. He is fully aware of it im sure and either likes the attention or likes me or both? He doesnt say much hes very cold and shut.
i dont like to romanticize things neither i am not a cheesy type of woman so i try to understand the purpose of our actions. Hard to understand.
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

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Sara
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by Sara » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:30 pm

We continue to text all day long with Lo.
I miss him so much!!! Im tempted to tell him . I think I will tell him that I miss our lunches and will ask if he misses me as well.
Its certainly not wise, it is crazy times i just need to tell him. Ive seen other posts where ppl are more compelled these days to disclose due to forced LC.
Not sure why? More externaL barriers = more limerent?
I guess if he says no he doesnt miss me or make a joke thats it it will end our friendship for good. If he says that he misses me too then my excitement will go to the roof but cant act on it.
Thats all for me , have a nice weekend
limerence with Dom Juan since sept 2015

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WishMagick
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Re: NC needed before my LO gets married

Post by WishMagick » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:45 pm

Sara wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:08 pm
either likes the attention or likes me or both? He doesn't say much hes very cold and shut.
Same thing with my LO and my situation. You told me that before.
I'd say with the frequency that you two communicate, and the fact that he thinks about you a lot (very obvious from his behavior), you are slowly heading into PA territory. As you know, an emotional affair is already happening, at least on your side - and I would say it's definitely on his side too.
Because it's been going on so long like this, a PA is the next step.

But, does it feel like a train wreck to you? As in, it's terrible and you see it coming, but you can't look away!!!!????

I feel like that sometimes. My LO is playing it way safer than yours is and he is not in an emotional affair with me at this point - I'd have to know how much of our interactions he keeps secret from his wife. If there are no secrets from her, he's not in an EA with me. (I believe it's mostly one sided), but I think if I knew mine for 5 years, things would definitely go that way...
I can't stop it all!

Seems like you feel the same.
Married - 38.5 yrs old
LO is married - 32 yrs old
(He lives next door)

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

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