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feeling good about progress

Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe life is never the same after limerence. Read how others have coped with limerence in the longer term. Please feel free to post your own accounts of journeying through limerence.
Anna
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feeling good about progress

Post by Anna » Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:52 am

Just a short note to say that I have been progressing further. Limerence started 3 years ago and has been a very sticky substance like super-glue...
but in the past months things have improved dramatically. I don't want to call myself healed yet, since I still have to deal with some issues with my childhood and parents, but I feel that I am 75 to 80% there.

A recent incident showed me how much better I can handle things: last week was my birthday and the very first person to send me a note was ex LO.
At first I felt flattered and excited and then this excitement ebbed away quite quickly. I mean I totally forgot about it within one day. In previous years this would have set in motion a whole cascade of crazy feelings which would have lasted for weeks, and now it's just...yup.. he sent me a birthday wish, so did many others.... get on with life.

JohnDeux
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Re: feeling good about progress

Post by JohnDeux » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:00 am

Congrats on this milestone, Anna. These are the little signs of forward movement that we need to stop and acknowledge, remembering how different the reaction is from our earlier feelings which often seemed like we could not live without LO. Continued strength your way..... :-bd
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

Anna
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Canada

Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Anna » Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:58 am

Thank you John!

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David
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Re: feeling good about progress

Post by David » Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:08 am

:-bd :-bd :-bd
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Relationship Coaching help see www.loverelations.co.uk
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Pattihopeful
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Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Pattihopeful » Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:40 am

That is ecouraging! Did you go NC? What were the biggest factors in your healing?

L-F
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Re: feeling good about progress

Post by L-F » Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:14 pm

Awesome progress Anna @};-
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

Anna
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Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:15 pm
Canada

Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Anna » Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:34 am

Pattihopeful wrote:
Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:40 am
That is ecouraging! Did you go NC? What were the biggest factors in your healing?
It's hard to say, probably a combination of a lot of things: time, self-reflection, LC, NC, EC ( extreme contact - spending a vacation/holiday with him , getting to know him better and finding the flaws) , a lot of time on this forum, an interest in self-healing, working on my self-worth, spriritual aspects of life , a divorce ..

Anna
Posts: 377
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:15 pm
Canada

Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Anna » Tue Nov 05, 2019 6:06 pm

I hadn't been on here for a while apparently and didn't feel the pull to come visit until yesterday. I saw a lot of postings from people who "paralleled ' LE with me. I read their stories and progress / development and thought that I should give an update, but nothing came to my mind. I have been NC for months now and didn't feel triggered any more, so yesterday I decided I have nothing to contribute about my own story. That left me musing about how things have developed for me in the last while , and while I was musing , you will not believe this, a message popped up out of the blue from former LO , "how are you?" This is the regular pattern that has been going on for over 3 years. Happens about every 3-4 months, But for the first time ever I just deleted it and didn't even send a 'thumbs up' sign back.
I am observing my feelings about this : I can't feel anything for him any more. Maybe a slight annoyance that he is still popping up in my virtual world and hasn't disappeared . I am sure he will soon since I am not feeding his ego. I have finally totally given up on him. I just can't imagine any more how I could get into this so deep.
But I am not finished with my own story yet. I would not be able at the moment to get into a new relationship. In ways I have totally withdrawn from being close to people. I feel a little numb inside .

Acrobatica
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Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Acrobatica » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:04 pm

I’d love to hear an update Anna. As a recovering limerent, I would love to see how others are progressing once the worst of the rumination fades.

I’m sorry to hear you feel numb inside. Why do you think that is?

I find I’m still closer to tears inside when I check in. But if I just let myself cry, I feel better.

Anna
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Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:15 pm
Canada

Re: feeling good about progress

Post by Anna » Thu Nov 07, 2019 1:39 pm

Don't know why I feel numb. I have been taking time identifying my old patterns , I have returned to live with my parents for my annual stay in November/December. Which is triggering a lot of Sh$%^. I am allowing myself to feel the emotions that are attached to those patterns, I can let go of some of them, but not all there yet. I don't know what new patterns to replace them with. Therefore I feel empty / sore / depressed at times. The good thing is, the old stuff gets out into the light and "cleaned out' so-to-speak. But once it's out, what comes next? Big questions.... My ex-LO seems to be gathering that patterns are changing and has been texting me repeatedly. I don't feel the need to respond.
Last edited by Anna on Thu Nov 07, 2019 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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