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my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Talk therapy can help but at times less cognitive treatments are required. Anything related to ANY form of therapy goes here.
daydreamer
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my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by daydreamer » Wed Jul 10, 2019 7:47 pm

not sure if this is the best sub-forum for it, but it sounded like a good enough fit.
I have this idea of mine (maybe not 100% original), and I'm so excited about it, I'm going to share it right away (without checking for references, LOL).

we all know, as LE sufferers or survivors, we do have problems with unmet needs in our childhood. a while ago, I thought about how to best practice self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-soothing, but I did not come up with anything interesting until today. while driving to work, it occurred to me that I'm very sensitive to having my hair touched by a caring individual (ideally, from an opposite gender, LOL). then, I imagined myself as a small boy, several years old, sad, frightened, alone, and i also imagined myself going back in time through some kind of time machine and talking to that small kid while patting his head and hair (sadly, little of that hair left). I tell him this:

"little boy, don't be sad, don't be frightened, you are an okay kid, you will grow up to be a man, you will have a beautiful wife, smart kids, you will have a successful professional career in one of the most powerful countries of the world [was born and raised in a rural area of a small and poor country], people will respect you at work, you will be a regional expert in your own area of expertise [even if very narrow], you will be training others to be also successful professionals, and they will be very grateful for that. Countless lives will be touched through your professional work and some of them will be openly appreciative of your service. You will be financially secure and you could own and drive almost any car you want [the young kid would be the most impressed by that, even though i really drive modest cars]."

I know, it may sound like I'm bragging a bit here, but I'm doing that strictly for the purpose of that little boy. besides, I'm not telling him all the bad things which happened in my life.

notice that this has 2 discrete effects: I'm helping my small kid inside me, but also I'm providing a purpose to my own current life, because all the things I'm doing currently are not giving me that purpose (not sure why). so now, after that brief "self talk," my mood went considerably up. then, I was busy at work doing my usual things and forgot about it. Then, we had a meeting at work where I was presenting. After the meeting, I was immediately struck how good the presentation was. I was witty, funny, fluent, and talkative. quite not my usual self. Keep in mind, not long time ago, I had to take propranolol pills for public speaking anxiety. I think the method is working, at least today. I will keep you posted.

BTW, I love you all here. I also love to be a part of this wonderful community.
Last edited by daydreamer on Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

mamasita
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by mamasita » Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:15 pm

Hi Daydreamer!
I love the concept of helping our inner child heal.
I think it was L-F who posted a really good illustration video of comforting one's inner child.
She may remember or I will see if I can find it. It made me cry and it was just cartoon people. :D

The inner child is the part of us crying out for love from an LO. That child doesn't need the LO, that child needs comfort, love, and healing.
But we use the LO as a proxy for feeling that real child within, crying out.

daydreamer
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by daydreamer » Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:51 pm

mamasita wrote:
Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:15 pm
I think it was L-F who posted a really good illustration video of comforting one's inner child.
She may remember or I will see if I can find it. It made me cry and it was just cartoon people. :D
thanks for letting me know! i'll look for it.

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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by L-F » Wed Jul 10, 2019 10:25 pm

Have conquered limerence. I'm no expert but have learnt enough to know where to look for answers.
Limerence Net helped to heal my heart which led to forgiving my abusers ❤

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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by Spinnaker » Wed Jul 10, 2019 10:55 pm

I love that animated short! Thank you, L-F! @};-

Also appreciate the excellent support everyone is giving on the forum! Good vibes!

Stay strong!

Spin ❤️
“We are tied in a single garment of destiny. What affects one directly affects everyone indirectly”.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

daydreamer
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jul 11, 2019 4:45 am

thanks L-F for the video. yeah, this is more or less what i'm talking about.

L-F
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by L-F » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:20 pm

"I believe that there is a sacred child-like spirit in all of us (often referred to as our younger self or sacred inner child), one we can access and heal in recovery. We can gradually learn to integrate our youthful spirit into our everyday life. There is sweet sacredness when a person truly dedicates himself or herself to reclaiming his or her forgotten and abandoned inner child."
Christopher Dines, Drug Addiction Recovery: The Mindful Way
Have conquered limerence. I'm no expert but have learnt enough to know where to look for answers.
Limerence Net helped to heal my heart which led to forgiving my abusers ❤

mamasita
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by mamasita » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:48 pm

L-F
That's the exact video I was referring to!
Thank you for re-posting it! I just shared it with my older children too. :)

L-F
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by L-F » Fri Jul 12, 2019 10:13 pm

mamasita wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:48 pm
L-F
That's the exact video I was referring to!
Thank you for re-posting it! I just shared it with my older children too. :)
Way cool! Its about all the things that happen to us as kids and not being handed the right tools to process that stuff. Not having a safe place to share, or even knowing about sharing because perhaps our parents didn't role model this to us? I know my father comes from the generation that kids should be seen and not heard.
Have conquered limerence. I'm no expert but have learnt enough to know where to look for answers.
Limerence Net helped to heal my heart which led to forgiving my abusers ❤

NVTS
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Re: my own "talking terapy," talking to myself as a child

Post by NVTS » Sat Jul 13, 2019 2:51 am

A few years before the latest LE, I had a strange dream which I referenced in LF’s post some time ago. In the dream I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it it was my elder daughter circa age 2. The same daughter who was 12 or 13 at the time saw her younger self and they just HUGGED EACH OTHER!!!!

I woke up shortly after and described it to my whole family. They know that I like sci-fi and thought that I was watching too many “twilight zone” episodes but my older daughter did see or understand something more meaningful!!
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

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