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Why is it so hard to save yourself?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Yesnomaybeso
Posts: 73
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:11 pm
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Age: 28
Australia

Why is it so hard to save yourself?

Post by Yesnomaybeso » Tue May 07, 2019 2:51 pm

I want to take complete accountability for my life. Not look for the next LO to give me strength, motivation or joy. Yet it feels so damn difficult. The motivation was there in the height of pain, now it’s just not the same. I’m nearly 30 and know I have yet to complete individuation. I don’t want to become complacent after Limerence again like in the past. No one is going to come along and help me or save me so why can’t I just fix my life, and live my life without this urge to live through others.

marko
Posts: 1452
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: Why is it so hard to save yourself?

Post by marko » Tue May 07, 2019 3:26 pm

A few things may help. Awareness is good, may help in stopping the starting. How's your inner voice? My anxiety led to so much self loathing that I didn't want to look at me for any guidance. I don't know how you see yourself, so this is delicate, but my prior statement leads me to have to settle with who Iam and not want to be. I feel like two people, one is nice and fun and capable, my thoughts want me to be the cool kid. I'm not, and that's what LE gets based off of, it's far more stronger and pervasive as it attempts to kill the sad voice. So embracing a far less "outwardly" appealing you may help. I find myself so external as judge self and others--pretty shiney things.
Right now it feels to hard to change, so I get where you are--knowing doesn't seem to equate to changing. I think this self protection thing we've created is like this in regards to seeing past it. LE is also much harder as it emulates and coincides with normal outreach for love and to be loved. Just like my kids, I hang on so hard to the feel good parts, but have to let go to really love them and its so hard to fight against it. In this regard LO stuff is easier as I'd really never have to have contact ever again. That external to feel good and how to resist is so very hard.

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