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Missing the highs

Discussion about the way back.
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NaturalezaMuerta
Posts: 256
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:41 am
Mexico

Missing the highs

Post by NaturalezaMuerta » Sat Apr 27, 2019 6:47 am

It is amazing what limited/no contact does to the LE, at least for me. Most days I no longer think about him, my persistent worry and preoccupation is mostly gone. Some days I laugh at myself and all the meaning I use to put to all our interactions, or even finding him attractive. Some days I feel shame, but I practice self-compassion and move on. Not being preoccupied by him has given me time to do other things, to face ongoing demons that triggered the latest episode and time to grow professionally. I realized that one of the reasons for my limited LEs in the past was that I work mostly with women and I simply did not have the exposure to men to trigger this thing. Whenever I think about this last period of my life what I miss the most are the highs that interacting with the personification of my dark side brought. I miss the excitement that every day brought, the deep conversations, the guessing and obsessing. It was such needed relief. It gave me excitement. I am still working on finding a replacement for it.

And there is always the lingering desire to relapse, to reignite the madness. Today I had a long conversation with him for the first time in months. The limerbeast began to creep in, subtly. Like any drug, the temptation to relapse is very strong. Limited, professional contact is the answer. There is hope :x
They are not responding to you and you are not responding to them. *-:)

AnnieKaye9924
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Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:22 pm
Canada

Re: Missing the highs

Post by AnnieKaye9924 » Sat Apr 27, 2019 11:33 am

I totally get this. I think I’m completely fine, calm, moving on, seeing him for who he is, then there’s one comment or something he does & I'm back in it.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 449
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Missing the highs

Post by Helpmeplease » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:22 pm

I totally get missing the highs too, and the pain of NC. Relapsing is definitely a risk

I also feel with NC at the moment a desire to withdraw. I don't feel like seeing my friends. I think all of this is so exhausting that NC leaves you exhausted as there isn't the energy source of spending time with LO, just the months of energy drain of LE and then NC.

I feel that LO is (was?) My only friend who I could have really interesting time with when I had no energy, running on fumes. I didn't need any energy at all to see her, it always gave me energy.

Do you get that too?

Bridget
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Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2019 2:18 am
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United States of America

Re: Missing the highs

Post by Bridget » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:27 pm

NM, you seem to have an excellent understanding of the dynamics underlying your LE; very impressive! Are you in the mental health industry (i.e. counselor, social worker, therapist)? Keep up the good work of NC in spite of the temptation for some excitement (which I can very much empathize with), and finding a new source of excitement. Bungee jumping? Skydiving? Open mike night at a comedy club? :D

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NaturalezaMuerta
Posts: 256
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:41 am
Mexico

Re: Missing the highs

Post by NaturalezaMuerta » Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:15 am

Bridget wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:27 pm
NM, you seem to have an excellent understanding of the dynamics underlying your LE; very impressive! Are you in the mental health industry (i.e. counselor, social worker, therapist)? Keep up the good work of NC in spite of the temptation for some excitement (which I can very much empathize with), and finding a new source of excitement. Bungee jumping? Skydiving? Open mike night at a comedy club? :D
Yep. I’m in mental health. Best example of how understanding is just part of the equation. :ymdevil: . I am actually going to take some time off work to figure out what other things besides this or work can make me feel alive. Love your ideas!
They are not responding to you and you are not responding to them. *-:)

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NaturalezaMuerta
Posts: 256
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:41 am
Mexico

Re: Missing the highs

Post by NaturalezaMuerta » Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:18 am

Helpmeplease wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:22 pm
I totally get missing the highs too, and the pain of NC. Relapsing is definitely a risk

I also feel with NC at the moment a desire to withdraw. I don't feel like seeing my friends. I think all of this is so exhausting that NC leaves you exhausted as there isn't the energy source of spending time with LO, just the months of energy drain of LE and then NC.

I feel that LO is (was?) My only friend who I could have really interesting time with when I had no energy, running on fumes. I didn't need any energy at all to see her, it always gave me energy.

Do you get that too?
I totally do. During the beginning of true limited contact I fell into a depressive episode and began having panic attacks again. Right now I still struggle with wanting to do fun things or go out with friends. Everything seems so gray. Keep at it and get support. You have to be proactive to fight this demon.
They are not responding to you and you are not responding to them. *-:)

Helpmeplease
Posts: 449
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Missing the highs

Post by Helpmeplease » Mon Apr 29, 2019 6:18 pm

Hope you are managing some time with friends NM, and doing fun things. I do think it helps.

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