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Yes and yes.
Its difficult to comprehend to start with.
Yes LOs (in general) do play a part, HOWEVER, our job is to own OUR projections and disassociate from theirs.
The trick here is to recognize what is ours and what is not.
I'm no expert, but have learnt enough to know where to look for answers.
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https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wies ... r-reality/
13. If you were to cease making all effort in the relationship, what would become of it? If the answer is nothing, it means that you aren’t in a relationship, you’re in a hall of mirrors in which you are projecting onto a bystander everything you want in a partner.
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When I look back today with a clear mind, reassess the past projections and identify those projections then and now, I like to think there was a purpose or lesson to learn. In hindsight, I see *some* of those projections as a reflection of aspects of myself and aspects of LO which we were denying in ourselves.
In my case, in some strange way, as limerence stripped me of the insecurities which held me back, in spite of being I half mad and irrational, I developed more confidence and somehow (maybe practice) learned to think things through. IOW So much practice making a fool out of myself taught me to think rationally. I thought a reaction or judgement was necessary and that mindset kept me on edge and uptite all these years. The anxiety was a barrier to allowing the real me to shine. A serene patience like his, lack of judgement and rational thinking were inside be all along, and part of the attraction was the experience of seeing the transformation on both sides.
So if you have regular interaction with LO like Marco did, teaching side by side with his LO, then projections could very well be going both directions but pointing at the qualities within each person that they deny yet see in other. Marco, I suspect you were always “cool” (that sense of humor which you described had her in stitches every day) and she took away the barriers in your own mind which kept you on the fence, not believing enough in your great qualities, for so long. Without meaning to sound pushy, I’m recommending you step away from the fence and practice using the light she brought into your life. Practice staying grounded while allowing the humor to flow. Assess whether you are getting caught up in it and focus on being real while being that guy who made her laugh.
I’m keeping the light and confidence LO gifted me with. He knows the real me and continues to inspire me.
** please don’t copy my words. Thank you!*
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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