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Does anyone have the same experience of not letting go of the limerence experience even you are pretty sure that you have no more any special feelings toward your LO?
- Posts: 424
- Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Seriously, I am a serial limerent and my longest LE lasted for more than 20 years after any last contact. I would think about “S” every day some more than others but there wasn’t a day without a thought of her. It’s only after I transferred those feelings to the latest LE that this was my problem. Keep reading and posting. WELCOME!
LO- married 48,work colleagues
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
Transference was the wake-up call for me as well. It’s your projections, not that “special” person. I’m on my 7th “special” person...
Addiction, OCD, all of that just fuels the flame. The flame within you, not between you and them.
Limerent for as long as I can remember
Have had 7 "real" LOs in the last 25 years
(...had a recent 8, but he was easy to release. Progress?!)
Last real LO is male, age 44, married AND has another GF!
- Posts: 730
- Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:45 am
LO is M 36, my son’s former teacher
LC beyond my control
LE began in the fall of 2015
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Sat May 20, 2017 5:12 am
We’re in the same boat, Pudding. I remember your posts from a few years ago. Back when this thing started for me and I discovered this forum. I think your posts stood out for me because I got the feeling that you were in a similar stage of Limerence as me. Possibly we’re in a similar stage now.Pudding wrote: ↑Wed Mar 13, 2019 10:55 amHmmm. I feel like I’m in a bit of a similar situation. I feel like I’m 95% over my LE after 3.5 years but my brain still keeps trying to grasp at straws and get that LE hit. It’s odd. I think my brain misses those feelings. It can trick me into thinking I’m still more limerent than I am.
It feels as though I’m bored with the whole thing yet out of habit I still try to read meanings to LO’s actions.
It’s as though she’s etched into my brain yet I know full well that there’s nothing exceptional about her.
- Posts: 797
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Ditto everything in this thread. I am happy to report that for the first time EVER I do not need to have some sort of special connection to him. Still daily thinking of him, and my brain grasping at straws still...."signs" maybe that he did care...I know that I have OCD and I struggle with intrusive thoughts anyway, but before LE, it was never about anyone specific. The main thing that bothers me is that he's not deserving of the amount of time that I think of him (not hating on him and it's surely not his fault). I am having to accept tiny bits of progress along the way. The ppl on forum have helped tremendously and have been patient. sometimes progress is painfully sloooooow....I also came to the point once that I was just fascinated by the topic of LE and not so much LO. Will I be better off having had this experience? I think so. If nothing else, prior to this, I'd never gotten to experience mania like I did in limerencePudding wrote: ↑Wed Mar 13, 2019 10:55 amHmmm. I feel like I’m in a bit of a similar situation. I feel like I’m 95% over my LE after 3.5 years but my brain still keeps trying to grasp at straws and get that LE hit. It’s odd. I think my brain misses those feelings. It can trick me into thinking I’m still more limerent than I am.
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)
- Posts: 231
- Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
I guess as an OCD person, this is just something I have to learn to deal with. Hopefully one day I can fully put this all behind my mind.
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- Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2019 2:18 am
Of course, my mothers shortcomings are related to my attachment issues, that in turn leave me limerence-prone. No surprise then that I have a hard time letting go of people I love and I give them more of myself than is healthy. It’s easy to do that because my limerant brain creates blind spots and convinces me that if I’m good enough, they will eventually love me in the way I know they can. Until it gets to be too much and I have to be rid of them. But that can take decades to fully run its course, unless a new LE emerges.
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