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Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Discussion about the way back.
bhicks
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by bhicks »

Great to hear AMA210. These medicines like Reiki have been incredibly beneficial in my growth as well, but I have noticed that only when I have wanted to change and make the changes myself, in which these medicines are incredible at facilitating. At the end of the day, it is up to us, so I congratulate you again!
It was only when I took action that I felt a shift in all levels. I love your mention of chords, yes, thats what I have been cutting as well. Yes, the letting go frees up so much energy as well.

AMA210
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by AMA210 »

Yesterday was the craft fair at school. It's the first time that I had ZERO desire to go. The first time in 4 years. I went last year, final letter to LO, in hand, slipped into his mailbox on his door, when no one was looking. I didn't see him there last year, but his SO was there.

Unbelievable progress in the past year. Making it through LE seemed like an impossible endeavor. I think mostly what got me through to the other side was refusing to give up trying. Persistence and perseverance -- traits that had surfaced as a part of my authentic self during the years spent trying to have a child. Defined and refined in those 9 years. Oddly enough, if I would have given up on that, there would have been no child to send to that school, and there would have been no meeting of the LO.

IMO, even with free will in action, there seems to be a pre-determined path that our life takes. So it might make sense to say that when we have evolved or completed that destiny, then there is death of the physical body, but the soul continues.

:ymparty:
LE was 22 months...LO catalyst for awakening, in which I chose divorce (after 27 years of marriage)
Very happy and content with my new beginning

AMA210
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by AMA210 »

Last weekend, lots of clarity came in. Like how the driver I was involved with had very similar behaviors to LO. The ghosting, the hot and cold, the blaming, the lying to my face, etc...the more positive elements being charming, outgoing, caring, but with both, the mask would slip, and it was really a false self being projected out into the world.

There is a male co-worker who is helping me to move forward. He is very supportive and encouraging and we discuss any topic. He is also single. Most importantly though, I have learned not to chase and let it unfold as it is.

In early December, LO’s SO was posting a lot on Facebook. Every few days was more family fun. She hadn’t posted anything for over a year and never this much. Lots of the social media sites are about validation.

Anyway, I feel that I’m finally cured. The pics don’t trigger anything and I’m like meh...it’s strange to feel this way, but I have done all of the heavy lifting...

It was never really about LO, as many have said here. It truly is not.
LE was 22 months...LO catalyst for awakening, in which I chose divorce (after 27 years of marriage)
Very happy and content with my new beginning

L-F
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by L-F »

:x
"What we all want, really, is to be loved.
That craving drives our worst behavior." Jodi Picoult
@};-

AMA210
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by AMA210 »

Today I have been divorced for a year. It’s been a year of inner growth and healing.

Last week, my car battery was dead and I called EX for help and he got it started so it could get to the dealer and then took me back later so I could get it. Our conversation was a bit weird and he told me that some people get divorced and then date again. So I said yeah if we did that, it would have to start over because the trust and foundation is gone and that would require a lot of work. He said he just wants things to go back they were and as I considered that for five minutes, I remembered him with that tv and not talking and not being a true partnership and then he said some sexual stuff for helping me out along with “you don’t deserve me.” No thanks. No regrets.

On the LO update, I was checking his SO’s Facebook page at least 3 times a week. Last weekend, there was a rather comical pic of them. Her looking one way and LO the other and it left a sour taste in my mouth, like I just had a lemon. It was the first time for this. I began thinking about how toxic that was and how tangled I was for so long in that web. But I also thought about how I never stopped trying to get out of it. I did eventually, but it was a slow, tedious and painful process.

Today I decided that I don’t need to check up on how or what he is doing, so I blocked her on FB. I can always unblock but why bother with it?

In a few weeks it will be four years since we met. What a journey it’s been and one that I wasn’t looking for, but it found me anyway.
LE was 22 months...LO catalyst for awakening, in which I chose divorce (after 27 years of marriage)
Very happy and content with my new beginning

mamasita
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by mamasita »

AMA, it's great to hear your update! So happy for you! :ymhug: :ymhug:

Acrobatica
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by Acrobatica »

Sending you love and support AMA. I hope things are going well with your daughter.

AMA210
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by AMA210 »

Acrobatica wrote:
Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:25 am
Sending you love and support AMA. I hope things are going well with your daughter.
Actually, it’s improving. Thanks for asking. We have been going out to eat at a restaurant every Wed and this week, we had an actual conversation! It was about boys because her BFF has been spending a lot of time with one, choosing that over her.


A lot of the anger is gone now. 💕
LE was 22 months...LO catalyst for awakening, in which I chose divorce (after 27 years of marriage)
Very happy and content with my new beginning

Maddie
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by Maddie »

I am so happy for you, AMA :ymhug:
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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