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Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Discussion about the way back.
AMA210
Posts: 1923
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
United States of America

Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by AMA210 » Sun May 05, 2019 9:25 pm

Two months have passed and I am really much more content with my life now. I am working on balancing everything. The joint custody schedule was changed a lot and reworked. My daughter told me that if she had a choice, she would stay with dad all of the time. I told her it won't be that way until she is 18. She is 14 now. She hates me (told to my face) and has no interest in any relationship. All of us, including my ex, are going to try therapy in June, when school is done.

My home environment is very peaceful. I live in a side by side townhouse, so if I need anything fixed, my landlord is really good about it--very proactive, and he lives right next door. I am surrounded by trees--birch, maple, pine, oak and nestled within so much green. I put up some bird feeders and one is right outside my window.

I enjoy my job. It's mentally challenging. I meet lots of people and I work with disabled adults. It's a completely different world.

I continue to focus on myself. I never thought that I would get to this post LE stage. It's all good. :D
LE was 22 months...LO catalyst for awakening, in which I chose divorce (after 27 years of marriage)
Very happy and content with my new beginning

NVTS
Posts: 461
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by NVTS » Sun May 05, 2019 9:55 pm

I find your story the inverse of mine. I have asked myself if this marriage doesn’t work out, can I be alone? I think that I would need at least a year of alone time. LO is just not available and even if she were to break up with her husband, I shudder to think about the state of mind of her kids.

I am more accepting of the “soulmate” role she played; vis-a-vis with the Elizabeth Gilbert description. She was put in my life to show me something profound about myself.

Please continue to enjoy your solitude, your kids will come around in time, have you had an opportunity to explain your side of things with your kids? Depending on the age it may be difficult, praying for you AMA!
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

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David
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Re: Divorced, Moved Out, Moving Forward

Post by David » Mon May 06, 2019 7:57 am

This post reminds me there are few if any happy endings when it comes to limerence. Until we learn to live with and love ourselves and emotionally detach from our significant others, we will never individuate and become whole.

Its seems as if its journey fewer and fewer seem to have the desire to undertake. I cant help but wonder if life's increasing distractions plays into this?

I salute your courage AMA and I hope you find the healing you so deserve.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Coaching, Mentoring see www.drdavidperl.com

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