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people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Discuss your experiences about narcissism and relationships with narcissists here.
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NoDayDreaming
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people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

i got interested in the question how often people with some narcissistic traits get attracted to each other and there is some literature that suggests it's more common than expected from randomness: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... ll-in-love

now, I'm not talking about people with grandiose delusions, but rather "some, that constant attention-seeking is a cover for deep-seated feelings of inadequacy." I'm such a person, and because of low self-esteem, I'm extra nice and helpful to others, so people would appreciate me and be nice to me in return, so it would help with my self-esteem. if I meet a person like that, they are going to be nice to me, that will make me extra nice for them, and they reciprocate by being even nicer and if a strong erotic element is involved, this explodes in a passionate love ("at the first sight") or limerence (if unrequited).

this would indeed explain why i tended to seek out specific types as my past partners or LOs. to this day, sometimes i see a person (women), who may not be necessarily pretty, and I'm suddenly attracted to them.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Spinnaker
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by Spinnaker »

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Last edited by Spinnaker on Mon Apr 20, 2020 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

here is another thought: “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome” may look on a surface like narcissism itself. this makes a lot of sense for me. interesting journey of discovery.

here is the source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arab ... arcissist/
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Spinnaker
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by Spinnaker »

Wow! Thank you, Jack! Great links.
Last edited by Spinnaker on Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mamasita
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by mamasita »

Excellent articles, thank you Jack & Spin! These are Also thoughts that I tend to mull over these days!

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

you're welcome.
the key was for me to understand that if I was a true narcissist, i would feel grandiose, and I would not be as sensitive and empathic as I am.
but, it's even more complicated, when i was a young adult working very hard to achieve my mighty life goals, there were times I was clearly narcissistic alright. it was only i got burned out and treated for depression, it rewired my brain, and i'm a different person now.
in retrospect, my mother was narcissistic and I was groomed to be a narcissist.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

L-F
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by L-F »

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Last edited by L-F on Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
"What we all want, really, is to be loved.
That craving drives our worst behavior." Jodi Picoult
@};-

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

L-F, this makes a lot of sense, even though i'm blind to the higher order.
the linked article used the word "flea" and now I know what they meant.
LOL, for some reason I thought you were a female, not sure why, and makes not much difference.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Spinnaker
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by Spinnaker »

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Last edited by Spinnaker on Mon Apr 20, 2020 11:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

L-F
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Re: people with narcissistic traits get attracted to each other?

Post by L-F »

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Last edited by L-F on Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
"What we all want, really, is to be loved.
That craving drives our worst behavior." Jodi Picoult
@};-

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