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[nsfw] Any advice?

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?
yygyhj
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:44 pm

@NVTS Do you think they are happy? Is he a normal guy?

She didn't reply to my last message from yesterday.

The day before the last day of the vacation she and her two friends and I were all sitting together on a couch, since my jeans were wet, I asked if they don't mind if I undress them. I undressed and I was given not only one, but two towels to hide. But I didn't need them since we had a large blanket anyway.
The girl you call LO, cheered me on to undress further, the other girls made their disapproval very clear. This kind of very strong responses intimidated me, so I didn't dare to make any move again on the LO. (I wonder what would have happened if I just started playing with her.) First she moved away from me on the couch, then after some time she told me to go home. I looked tired. What she said had a very negative effect on me. I just went home, but I felt not like sleeping, instead I showered and searched for the best bar. I went there and had four strong cocktails and sent her pictures asking her to come (and save me). She didn't come. The next day I woke up at like 8 am, really early. The girls didn't sent anything till like 11 am. They met a guy during lunch and LO posted a picture with him on social media while she never posted one with me. I got really mad and jealous. I didn't met them that day, despite they wanting to meet me the last minute before the flight to give back a clothing. I still owe them some money for entry fees, like 30€. I don't want to pay, since I won't see them again anyway.
The day after the vacation she posted another picture with another guy. I got even more jealous.

What is the difference between LO wanting her fantasy of a guy doing something difficult for her and me wanting her to "rescue" me? Can you really forget this behavior or do you have to fight all your life to not do it? Isn't the difference between us, that she as a beautiful, cute and smart girl has such a high sexual market value, that any (not stupid) guy can fulfill her fantasy while I don't such a high sexual market value?

Going to a foreign country made me also realize how the world is for girls in my home country. In my home country it is very unusually that girls are actively approaching you and then they just want to play with you, but nothing serious. Very unusual for me.

NVTS
Posts: 403
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by NVTS » Fri Feb 01, 2019 3:23 pm

Just file it under “life experiences”, and get on with your life. I am guessing you are in your 20’s, if so you have your whole life ahead of you, try not to waste one more minute on why your LO did what she did.

As for my “longest” LO, I have no idea what her life is like, I severed contact with her family over 15 years ago and I have a wonderful life of my own(finally realizing it).
M-47-married
LO- married 47,work colleagues

yygyhj
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:09 am

I messaged her last week. I called her on Sunday and she promised me something that she has not fulfilled yet. I am back to square 1.
Thinking about calling her again or deleting her.
I think the last times I had something like this I deleted the contacts.
It is difficult to change my behavior and my thoughts circling about her. Not sure if checking this forum helps me forget about her, but for fixing the underlying issue the forum might be helpful.

I compiled a list about all her negative treats and I have no idea why I am so obsessed about a person who treats me so badly and who doesn't care about me.

jack
Posts: 128
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by jack » Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:02 pm

yygyhj wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:09 am
I have no idea why I am so obsessed about a person who treats me so badly and who doesn't care about me.
read about anxious–preoccupied attachment style: http://the-love-compass.com/2014/02/22/ ... ent-style/

yygyhj
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Wed Feb 13, 2019 7:51 am

The attachment style described in your article seems to be very fitting especially in the context of this woman. I guess she is avoidance attachment style, except she was very insistent on walking arm in arm with me, but she instinctively knew when there was a perfect moment to kiss her, then she always turned her head away from me. The description of the rollercoaster seems also very fitting, I guess she loves drama and me getting desperate.
My last relationship was also boring in my eyes, she probably is a rather fearful anxious type.
I think your mentioned website has a different viewpoint than limerence. If there is a connection between narcissism and limerence, how is the relationship between these styles and narcissism?

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