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Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

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Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Total votes: 21

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Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Post by Pandora » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:15 pm

Whether it is something you consciously believe, or something that you would logically deny but secretly feel, does some part of you think that your LO needs you? I've felt this with most of my LOs and it kept me tethered to them, so I'm curious if it's a common sentiment among limerents.
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

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Re: Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Post by Pattihopeful » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:25 pm

I voted yes because I hope so! Thanks so much for your honesty. I like to think he feels the same way.

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Re: Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Post by LadyChat » Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:33 pm

I am in no doubt that my LO needs me on a practical level because he needs my skill set. On an emotional level he needs his ego tripping once in a while, sadly I have offered myself up as a prime candidate for the role. I complement him when it isn’t warranted, placate him when he’s behaving like a child and even agree with him when I disagree- sheer madness. What I’m working on is unpicking why on Earth my stupid limerent brain convinced me I needed him!

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Re: Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Post by MetsFan » Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:53 am

She did need me, I know that for sure. I gave her a job that she wasn’t qualified for (but was capable) and when she was fired I wrote her resume, pulled strings to get her interviews elsewhere and coached her before them. She got a great new job that I recommended her for. Without me, she’d be working in a store in her home town, 100%. She needed my direction, but also my reassurance, moral support and I often thought she needed my approval too.

I know a lot of that was driven by the classic rescue fantasy.

BUT, over 4 weeks of NC now, she’s started the new job, has a new boyfriend and it looks like I’m not needed anymore as she hasn’t been in contact. We’ll see as time goes by, but I guess people change, move on, situations change too, and I’m going to go from a massively important person in her life to someone she used to know.

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Re: Do you feel that your LO 'needs' you?

Post by FreeBird » Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:30 pm

While in the throes of LE, I thought LO needed me. Of course, I was the only one who understood his grief and would be the best person to share his feelings to about it. (both our parents died in the same month but a year apart). Nope, he didn't. He's a big boy. I was grasping for straws. 8-|
Mayberry:Gateway to danger :ymcowboy:

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