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Eureka moment!!!

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
Charm
Posts: 275
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2018 4:10 pm
Gender:
Canada

Eureka moment!!!

Post by Charm » Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:18 pm

Going through day 3 of NC I had a eureka moment just now -

Its not him
Its a tic
An itch that needs scratching
HE really doesn’t give me anything
HE never has
He even said he cant
Yet ive always pushed him to
So its not HIM
Our limerent objects are just that - objects - things WE have created/projected onto - we dont really consider them special in and of themselves - they are merely a means to an end for us
As T has maintained if my LO wasnt married and if he was showering me with love/affection/attention/time
- I would be momentarily satisfied and then onto another object to change/cure/transform/need/desire
In this respect
WE hold the power though we may feel powerless -
WE give LO strength though we feel weak
WE make them into whatever we want them to be
Exaggerate their features to make them prettier, more handsome, sexy, kind
WE read and re-read their words/texts to infuse them with deeper meaning where in reality they are simply words - nothing profound
They are not ultra intelligent, super good looking or special in any way
WE give them that title!!

I know this is probably all understood by many of you but truthfully I have had an epiphany today - I am way more powerful than my LO - I just have to choose to exercise that power
Choice - thats it !
Last edited by Charm on Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Married female 47
LO is older married male
Attempted NC -failed 3x
Now in full blown EA and PA

Maddie
Posts: 751
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by Maddie » Fri Oct 05, 2018 9:18 pm

Some good stuff. I needed to read that today. Thank you!!
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

Pandora
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by Pandora » Fri Oct 05, 2018 10:14 pm

How eloquent and truthful! Thank you for posting, I needed to read this.
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

dreams
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:57 am
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by dreams » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:07 am

so true! great insight

crushed1234
Posts: 115
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:45 am
Gender:
Canada

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by crushed1234 » Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:26 am

Way to go Charm :ymhug:

Spinnaker
Posts: 1904
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by Spinnaker » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:21 am

.
Last edited by Spinnaker on Sat Oct 20, 2018 5:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

ReeledIn
Posts: 591
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2017 5:39 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by ReeledIn » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:08 am

I will read this again tomorrow prior to entering my meeting with LO. Thanks, Spin! :ymhug:
47yo female, LO/ex PA partner is 54, single dad & coworker
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO


For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

Spinnaker
Posts: 1904
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by Spinnaker » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:39 am

Are you thanking me for barely bumping up the thread? You are so transparent. :ymbringiton:
Last edited by Spinnaker on Sat Oct 20, 2018 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Havb
Posts: 561
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:10 am
Saint-Martin (French part)

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by Havb » Thu Oct 11, 2018 1:35 pm

Thank you Charm ❤️ And good luck ReeledIn!
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

There is always more work to be done.

ReeledIn
Posts: 591
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2017 5:39 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Eureka moment!!!

Post by ReeledIn » Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:29 pm

Oops! My bad. Thanks, Charm. I got the author wrong..Thanks for well wishes, Spin.
47yo female, LO/ex PA partner is 54, single dad & coworker
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO


For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

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