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Gone and back again

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?
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liv
Posts: 53
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:19 pm
Great Britain

Gone and back again

Post by liv » Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:41 pm

I thought I had learnt. I was on this forum about 4 years ago suffering, like all of you, for around 3 years for the same LO. That faded away thanks to a forced NC, he moved to a different continent and got married.
At the same time, it all became boring, uninteresting...until I met current LO.

We were workmates for a couple of months and got along really well. I left that company (for other reasons) and started dating, it was AMAZING, he was so sweet...I was so happy! For around a month we'd text a bit everyday, meet couple times a week...and then his texts started to be less. He'd reply if I said something, but never initiated a conversation (the same guy that used to say thing like "I cannot wait till Sunday to see you!, let's meet up earlier!"). Even noticing the drop on interest, I asked him last Wednesday if he wanted to meet on Friday (last week), he said he'd come back to me to let me know as he was feeling a bit sick...and that was it.

It's been 1 week NC now, and I'm drowning! Images of him smiling at me and saying how much he liked me fill my mind. I guess he noticed my insecurity and anxiety, and how it grew as his interest dropped. And nothing is less sexy than neediness and insecurity.

Same pattern. I don't blame him. I don't seem to be able to meet someone and keep living my life at the same time. The whole world stops and I just care about LO, and that shows. I cannot help but having that familiar feeling of deep regret on how badly I've done things.

Is he thinking "How on earth did I ever like that woman!" Is he happy I left him alone? Does he think about me at all? I'm trying to live with uncertainty, but the idea of not knowing about him ever again makes me go sick.

Please, tell me NC is the way to go, and contacting him would just ignite the anxiety.

Love to all.
Female 37, single
LO: Male 33
1 week NC and counting - VERY anxious.

MrSpock
Posts: 547
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

Re: Gone and back again

Post by MrSpock » Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:56 pm

liv wrote:
Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:41 pm
Please, tell me NC is the way to go, and contacting him would just ignite the anxiety.
NC is the way to go, and contacting him would just ignite the anxiety :D

Now, I don't know you, so I wouldn't tell you he shouldn't have a reason to let you go, but I can tell you this: NO decent man would leave you hanging like that. He would talk to you face to face and tell you why it didn't work. So, I can confidently say that this is the case where: is him, not you.

So, stop doubting yourself for HE is a looser and you are better off alone :)

liv
Posts: 53
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:19 pm
Great Britain

Re: Gone and back again

Post by liv » Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:11 pm

Thanks for replying MrSpock.
I know it seems dumb to as for confirmation on something I already know, but it's comforting to read it.
I'm afraid there is still a very tiny part of my mind that wants to believe LO had a "good reason" for pulling away (how delusional is that? :S)
Female 37, single
LO: Male 33
1 week NC and counting - VERY anxious.

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