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Self-Sabotage

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Pandora
Posts: 172
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Self-Sabotage

Post by Pandora » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:03 am

I noticed this today. My diet has been crappy lately, and thus I've been feeling like crap and using that as an excuse to not get things done during the day. This not only leaves me with a lot of free time, but I feel like I deserve a 'pick me up', which is, as you guessed, engaging in limerence.

I think it's because now that I've been reading more and engaging in this forum, I know too much to view my limerence as a harmless past time, and I can't use the excuse of 'I don't know how to deal with it!' There are tons of things that I can do to begin my recovery process, but on some level, I just don't want to get better. So I self-sabotage, engaging in habits that leave me with a low level of mental/emotional power, and from there let my limerence take over. The process of engaging less and less with my limerence is very frightening to my ego, and my ego wants to keep holding on.

Anyone else experience this?
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

crushed1234
Posts: 115
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:45 am
Gender:
Canada

Re: Self-Sabotage

Post by crushed1234 » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:26 am

Yep, this is your pain body hanging on for dear life. It's scary as hell to change but once you get far enough down the line, there's no turning back. The awareness that you have, of knowing that it's a part of you that want to stay with what's familiar, is the essential first step!

Do some listening to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube.

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