Information: Please take a moment and visit your profile to choose a flag.

VERY good TED talk on addictions

Discussion related to all forms of addictions.
Post Reply
MrSpock
Posts: 557
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

VERY good TED talk on addictions

Post by MrSpock » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:16 pm

From the experience of limerence and addiction to LO, you will see how he is so, so incredibly right!


utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

L-F
Posts: 1834
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: VERY good TED talk on addictions

Post by L-F » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:23 pm

Love makes the world go round.
Love and human connection is powerful. I was watching a TED talk on bipolar which was fascinating. It made me wonder if limerence is similar but you'd have to watch to see what I mean.

@2:23



What I find fascinating (currently looking at learning/cognition) is that processes play a part in our healing. Take CBT for example. But what I find even more fascinating is that we learn more through the application of knowledge than the knowledge itself. Experience right? A phenomenological approach. Thus process plays an important role. For example, when you spoke of making love to your wife, you described not the process, but the result of the process. Many, I am assuming, do not feel physically attracted to their SO, however, through application re-connection is made and thus a changed outlook over time. Sometimes it is more about ‘doing’ than ‘knowing or feeling’ (putting the heart and mind to one side).
The process (objective) aids reconnection.
Through reconnection, the heart learns to love again, IMO.
Just a thought.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

L-F
Posts: 1834
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: VERY good TED talk on addictions

Post by L-F » Sun Aug 12, 2018 12:23 am

The same would apply to an addiction to sugar. No amount of thinking or feeling will curb this addiction. It is through 'doing' that a persons addiction changes. Neuroplasticity research states we can rewire our brain, which I'm sure helps the pruning process (in above clip).

Mechanical, methodical doing to alter cognitive physiological processes. A chain reaction. If you take a sugar addicted person, change their eating habits, their taste buds change too, along with their outlook and perception of what it means to fuel the body.

Though I do like that old saying 'once an alcoholic always an alcoholic'. Its too easy to slip backwards.

Through pain comes growth (anon). If we weren't pained, we'd have no reason to change. Whether it be diet, limerence, study, the process isn't easy, but necessary to reach our goals.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

JohnDeux
Posts: 1820
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:42 pm

Re: VERY good TED talk on addictions

Post by JohnDeux » Sun Aug 12, 2018 1:26 am

L-F wrote:
Sun Aug 12, 2018 12:23 am
Through pain comes growth (anon). If we weren't pained, we'd have no reason to change. Whether it be diet, limerence, study, the process isn't easy, but necessary to reach our goals.
L-F, for the moment, I'm going to avoid the other question you posed to me on Stephen's other recent thread..... cuz avoidance is my standard MO. /:)

Yet this 'pain' issue is exactly what is coming to the fore in my life right now vis-a-vis SO. Pain avoidance has been huge for decades, mostly because it was just my experience that it was reaching intolerable levels in my FOO and some part of me decided avoidance would be the strategy for the rest of my days. But I've brought up before a useful comment you made about getting to that point where you "don't care" what SO's reaction is---you needed to speak your mind and heart for the health of whatever marriage was going to exist post-LE. This of course is not the deliberately hurtful hurling of nasties at SO for the sake of causing problems, which you can then blame SO for being unreasonable. It's rather, as you noted, the need for authenticity, even if it churns the seas and causes some temporary turmoil. And in this regard, it's been better with the way that I feel a need to do X, or Y, or Z and actually voice this to SO (and no....not some 'needed infidelity', but things that I ONCE did, but stopped doing so that conflict could be avoided).

And this change *has* caused conflict,....from silence on her part to shaming tirades about my weaknesses. All of which *now* are received as "her reaction", rather than "my evilness". It's not that cut and dried as you can imagine, but it does feel to be the pain that is needed for the change. A start, and a work in progress.....
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

L-F
Posts: 1834
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: VERY good TED talk on addictions

Post by L-F » Sun Aug 12, 2018 10:17 am

@JD I get it. Its a scary place standing our ground, not to purposely make waves *just because*, but to be seen and heard. Part of that process was encouraging SO to do the same.

Much strength to you.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests