- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:11 am
I love my SO , I don't have any sexual fantasy or feelings towards my LO, but I have so much anxiety that it's shaped what I like, what music I listen to, how I talk, what I post on social media, where I go...
We dated 8 years ago, we were young, it ended because of parents, not because of anything between the two of us. my LO was my "first", we were both heartbroken as young people in high school are in those situations. That's when it started. NC for a year or two after, brief contact again showing romantic interest on both parts, then no contact for 5 years after that, was blocked on social media (still unsure why). an e-mail here and there. Recently they added me on FB and reached out completely on their own. They are married with a child, I'm married now, I'm truly happy that they seem to be happy, but I feel physically ill when going near their workplace and obsess over my phone if there's a possibility of a message. I don't feel jealous or upset when I see them with their SO or see their child. I just want a friendship with this person, NC for YEARS didn't seem to do anything, I'm not at all physically attracted and don't romanticize a relationship with them- just a friendship.
It feels shameful and ugly and I know that I can't fully BE with my SO if I don't get rid of this and I'm sick of it. I am stuck. Thank you all for sharing your stories, it's helpful to know that i'm not alone.
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