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9 years later...Please help.

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:11 am
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9 years later...Please help.

Post by t@ng » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:25 am

Please help

I'm young, newly married(1.5 years), and just learned the term limerence today, but I think it's been something I've dealt with my whole life.

I love my SO , I don't have any sexual fantasy or feelings towards my LO, but I have so much anxiety that it's shaped what I like, what music I listen to, how I talk, what I post on social media, where I go...

We dated 8 years ago, we were young, it ended because of parents, not because of anything between the two of us. my LO was my first, we were both heartbroken as young people in high school are in those situations. That's when it started. NC for a year or two after, brief contact again showing romantic interest on both parts, then no contact for 5 years after that, was blocked on social media (still unsure why). an e-mail here and there. Recently they added me on FB and reached out completely on their own. They are married with a child, I'm married now, I'm truly happy that they seem to be happy, but I feel physically ill when going near their workplace and obsess over my phone if there's a possibility of a message. I just want a friendship with this person, NC for YEARS didn't seem to do anything, I'm not at all physically attracted and don't romanticize a relationship with them- just a friendship.

It feels shameful and ugly and I know that I can't fully BE with my SO if I don't get rid of this and I'm sick of it. I am stuck. Thank you all for sharing your stories, it's helpful to know that i'm not alone.

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Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: 9 years later...Please help.

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:10 am

Welcome to the forum! There's a lot of good reading on here for people going through this. There could be myriad reasons why you're going through this, so just read and share some more. :)
"If we forgive our fathers, what is left?" Thomas Builds The Fire, Smoke Signals

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