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Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
Rocinante
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Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by Rocinante » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:23 am

One question I'm really curious about is if anyone here has *been* anyone's LO.

If so — and you have limerent feelings for someone right now — do these experiences of being on the other side of the LO 'focus' give you any insight that helps your own limerent feelings subside?
Rocinante • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocinante_(disambiguation)
RECLUDET PRATERITIS! <-- Current mantra / magic spell ("Quarantine the past!")

L-F
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by L-F » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:29 am

Yes.
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

Sara72
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by Sara72 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:10 am

Yes. It gives me a sense of how delusional my own limerence is. When I start fooling myself there is a special connection between me and my LO, I think about this person who had me as her LO and it sort of gets me out of my high. It lessens the magical thinking.
F, 46
LO, M, 41
There is liberation in a single acceptance

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TheMoon
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by TheMoon » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:32 am

Yes. Unfortunately, however, I haven't used the experience to inform my own journey in the most honourable way. Most of what I have brought to my own LE from that is to do with trying to make sure I'm not as obvious to my LO as she was to me, and comparing her behaviour to LO's in my pathetic attempt to find evidence of reciprocation. It's still a bit raw to contemplate the possibility that LO may regard me as I regarded her - not that I feel negatively towards her, it's just that I would feel humiliated, and not in a good way.

Havb
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by Havb » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:18 pm

I actually think I may have been my husband’s LO for a short period while we dated. Only 50% sure of that though. He definitely seemed to have the sort of infatuation typical of new relationships, but maybe not full blown limerence.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

JupiterTaco
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by JupiterTaco » Sun Jun 10, 2018 3:40 pm

I can't say I've been someone's actual LO, but I have been the subject of unwanted and uncomfortable attention. Also the theory of how limerence and new relationships start out is quite similar. It's just that limerence is either unreciprocated and/or there are obstacles to a relationship, whereas a new relationship settles into a true bond.
"God grant me the serenity, to just remember who I am"-Games People Play by Joe South

dogersfan_99
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by dogersfan_99 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 3:55 pm

Yes. I had a client, a much older man (between the age of my parents and grandparents!) who gifted me expensive jewelry and then admitted in an email that he drives by my workplace at night just to see if I am there. I forwarded that to my boss and that client was banned from the premises. I was ready to call the police if I ever saw him again. The man was delusional.

It's an interesting idea to apply that to how my LO could perceive me!

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CrystalC
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by CrystalC » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:54 pm

How can you tell if you've ever been someone else's LO??? Are there signs?? Or, you just "have a feeling"? Just curious...

There's only been ONE guy who I suspect may have had limerent feelings for me at one time, but that's only because he always acted so nervous around me. He liked me, and even showed me that he liked me, but he was always so awkward and nervous around me and others, that I couldn't take him seriously.

Rocinante
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by Rocinante » Thu Jun 14, 2018 6:53 am

Crystal C -
I don’t actually know either. I’ve had just a few friends who’ve had crushes on me where a lot of “obstacles” got in the way and a *lot* of anticipation built up on their end. I guess that could’ve been the start of limerence, but I cut it off pretty quickly each time. We had the opportunity to at least talk things out because we’d end up obviously needing to talk about whether we were going to date (as opposed to LO situations where talking about your feelings seems complicated for whatever reasons.)

I think I feel like I’ve taken away *some* perspective from this? I guess the only specific (and frustrating) thing was that my lack of passionate reciprocation wasn't because they weren’t great or attractive people or tick some of my boxes. But someone has to tick all of my boxes for me to be in love / stay in smitten with them. Similarly my LO person, I think, unquestionably liked me as a friend, I just didn’t tick all of her boxes.
Rocinante • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocinante_(disambiguation)
RECLUDET PRATERITIS! <-- Current mantra / magic spell ("Quarantine the past!")

JupiterTaco
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Re: Has anyone here *been* anyone's LO?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:18 am

One can't tell what someone thinks of them without asking first, so it's just speculation. IMO it's more of a warning when one person has continually made moves and/or flirted with someone who has made it clear they're not interested, or don't want the degree of a relationship that the other person wants and doesn't respect the person's attempts to lay down boundaries.
"God grant me the serenity, to just remember who I am"-Games People Play by Joe South

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