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Alternative Truths...

For some, limerence isn't about suffering. For others, they do not see limerence as akin to an addiction. Others do not see limerence as originating in childhood from poor parenting and dysfunctional attachments.

Here is a place to share different beliefs as well as share your own POV.
L-F
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Alternative Truths...

Post by L-F » Wed May 16, 2018 11:42 am

... or Alternative Perspectives.

Just had a thought to support those who don't believe in what you have written about limerence on the Intro/Welcome page, and that is to have another section called something like 'alternative POV' or ???

Not everyone believes in what the majority do, so perhaps they can have a space to identify those who hold different beliefs as well as share their POV?

I know I'll always defend those who are suffering, but perhaps limerence isn't about suffering for some? I know this is a support forum however if limerence doesn't pain someone then it might be good to hear how limerence affects those not pained by it? Or perhaps they believe SO is to blame? Or that limerence itself is not love addiction? The sky is the limit.

Reflecting on RSVs thread in the open forum, you will always get 'poo poo' reactions to what many have lived thru, which is not cool in my eyes especially if they are suffering. And so. To avoid people attacking those who defend their position that limerence is about the self and not sex or LO or SO, nor should it be used as an excuse to have an affair, perhaps give space to those who defend another POV. That way the ones suffering don't have to battle yet another layer of shame and pain etc.

The bask in your limerence might not be enough space? Especially if people want to explore different ideas?

Just a thought.
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David
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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by David » Wed May 16, 2018 12:11 pm

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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David
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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by David » Wed May 16, 2018 12:35 pm

Can anyone point me to threads that would be better suited to reside in this new category?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by Spinnaker » Wed May 16, 2018 4:40 pm

R.S.V.'s post titled: Sage Advice on What Really Works.
"I'll become what I deserve".

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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by MrSpock » Wed May 16, 2018 5:42 pm

I agree with L-F that all views should have a place.
Having said that, I didn't follow RSV thread. I just started reading the initial post and lost interest half way. But it doesn't mean it cannot resonate differently with others.

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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by Havb » Wed May 16, 2018 6:31 pm

Do we really need a separate thread? Why not just ignore posts you don’t agree with and let people say what they want to say? I dunno, that’s just my interpersonal style in forums.
“Patience, grasshopper.” Also, “listen to your intuition.”

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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by L-F » Wed May 16, 2018 8:44 pm

David wrote:
Wed May 16, 2018 12:35 pm
Can anyone point me to threads that would be better suited to reside in this new category?
I'll highlight other threads that should belong in this section. A poster left because he loved limerence and sleeping with prostitutes or pole dancers (?)

After that I'll have to charge you =))

I'm a firm believer everyone should have a space to share. That way we are more likely to learn off others if their thread is contained within a safe zone instead of trying to fight the mainstream and change people's ideas.
Just breathe...

L-F
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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by L-F » Wed May 16, 2018 9:42 pm

Havb wrote:
Wed May 16, 2018 6:31 pm
Do we really need a separate thread? Why not just ignore posts you don’t agree with and let people say what they want to say? I dunno, that’s just my interpersonal style in forums.
I love the way you choose to go about things :D I love your philosophy.

You could view this section as a way to alert others that its a different POV, so as not to offend, given we are talking about those who have suffered trauma of some sort and are often trying to figure things out.

It could be viewed as a ***trigger warning*** in this regard. People are prewarned prior to reading and have an opportunity to look at it from a different angle rather than a reactive one which tends to happen when people are triggered. We all react differently and are triggered by different things. This way someone has a place to talk about a subject that is dear to their heart with people who identify with them and their situation rather than trying to swim upstream.

:ymhug:
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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by JupiterTaco » Wed May 16, 2018 11:24 pm

That's what I was going to say, that "Basking In Your Limerence" was for that, but maybe it wouldn't cover it all. People may not want to full-on "bask" in their limerence, they just don't see it as a problem or they're not in a position to do heavy lifting quite yet.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, yeah,"-Madonna, 4 Minutes

Oh and...it's also a proverb... :-\

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Re: Alternative Truths...

Post by LisaTranscending » Thu May 17, 2018 1:44 am

L-F wrote:
Wed May 16, 2018 11:42 am
I know I'll always defend those who are suffering, but perhaps limerence isn't about suffering for some? I know this is a support forum however if limerence doesn't pain someone then it might be good to hear how limerence affects those not pained by it?
For anyone who has consummated a limerence (getting what they wanted or at the very least thinking they were getting what they wanted)....it turns out most of the time...ouch.... they were better off in the desire phase of this condition than in the consummation phase....where acting out tore bonds and hearts apart...

so suffering from wanting someone...just turns into suffering from doing with someone. both are suffering. who is to say which is more painful?

moving from fantasy to reality is very treacherous. RSV has figured out a way to stay in his desire phase without physically betraying his spouse....but all too aware he hasn't reached the phase where that fantasy doesn't need to feed his empty space. and most interesting...he has learned to stay in his desire phase without suffering for it. THAT alone is an alternative truth. in the grips of LE...it may seem impossible...but where on the spectrum of LE is he to find this place? and maybe from having dealt with so many LE's...he has figured out how to desire without pain.

perhaps desire is better than getting? ultimately not desiring is the endgame....but hey..not everyone can get there at the same time.

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