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What if it is true love?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Charm
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What if it is true love?

Post by Charm » Sat May 12, 2018 2:48 pm

Im starting to question everything
SO is annoying me
Fantasizing about how great life would be with LO - they are so different
SO is loud vocal opinionated
LO is quiet gentle calm
He is on a family vacation right now and yet texts me daily with “love you’s” “miss you’s” and it just melts me
He is in an unhappy marriage
Wife cheated on him but he cannot leave as he says because he will not be able to handlebthe emotional and physical nuclear blow up (he is 62)
We will see each other when he returns and I cant wait to hold him and kiss him
I havent felt that with SO in ages
Yes I know this is all new exciting etc for a married woman in her late 40’s but its like I feel if I dont pursue LO more and more I risk the possibility of losing the love of my life
What if this is true love and not limerence?

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David
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by David » Sat May 12, 2018 3:12 pm

Suggest you read this thread on healthy versus unhealthy love

http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.ph ... ove#p42730

Chances are if you are here, its unhealthy love.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Charm
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by Charm » Sat May 12, 2018 8:53 pm

David wrote:
Sat May 12, 2018 3:12 pm
Suggest you read this thread on healthy versus unhealthy love

http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.ph ... ove#p42730

Chances are if you are here, its unhealthy love.
Thank you David

marko
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by marko » Mon May 21, 2018 8:11 pm

Regardless of love, one component of going LE is that our SO's are less than stellar than our LOs. They are exciting and new and opposite of our daily humdrum. I bet their SO could point out a few things :D . You are also in the magic buzz stage--it all feels like love, and like a love you never had before. The confusing part is that parts of that may also be true. However, your knight in shining armor is on a family vacation texting you, he sounds like a scum bag as well. I point this out as your perspective is what is making him something he might not be. lE isn't love, but can warp anything to make it so. Don't let that be an attack, but really ask yourself why you want something impossible to be true. It's even worse for you with that reciprocation to sort out what is true. I have to swallow mine every day, in :x with an engaged 29 yr old, how dumb to carry on, but I do--a bit.

Again, this isn't an attack, I know the pull of this better alternative. Some of it fake some of it real. Love or not, the fact he will not leave his wife makes it unhealthy in many ways for you. Sorry your in this spot, I'm a lifer and lived many aspects of this and just offer some direction in the journey.

LostAgain
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by LostAgain » Mon May 21, 2018 10:22 pm

Yes Marko,our LO's are exciting and mysterious in comparison to our SO's.
Sometimes it seems to be because their is an insurmountable gulf with our SO.
Sometimes,as with me,it seems to come down to an inability to grow together in a relationship.
Always,as L-F will keep reminding us,it is because there is shit we need to grow through by 'heavy lifting'.
Once you have done the adolescent bit of partying and imbibing whatever happens to be your 'hit' of choice, then it all gets a bit more difficult(unless you can stay in a state of perpetual adolescence.)

But hey,that's just me talking shit before going to bed.

Charm
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by Charm » Tue May 22, 2018 1:19 am

Marko you are right but i just keep telling myself that he is a man scorned by his wife as she cheated on him and he never cheated on her
So i came along and filled a void for him
The reason why i asked my post question what if its really love is because would you agree that in relationships you may grow apart or in different directions? so yes part of it may be limerence but could there be a part where this man really is what I want as a partner for the next 20 years of my life - does it always have to be a fog that we’re in??

L-F
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Re: What if it is true love?

Post by L-F » Tue May 22, 2018 2:09 am

Charm wrote:
Tue May 22, 2018 1:19 am
does it always have to be a fog that we’re in??
Not at all! The question would be 'what's stopping you from being together?'

Barriers?

What's stopping both of you overcoming these barriers?

How are you working together to overcome these barriers?
Just breathe...

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